The Celestial Way
by Anna Crosswell
Summary: Fleeing an abusive relationship, Renee leaves Charlie while pregnant with Bella and finds help in Carlisle- a doctor with two wives. What will happen 17 years later when their children, Edward & Bella- who were raised as siblings- begin to crumble under the pressures of their forbidden love? Will they be able to lean on each other and their unconventional family? ExB HEA
1. Prologue

**This story wouldn't be what it is without the immeasurable help from my dear friends ****TwidictedByrd**___ (Story: New York Minute), _**SparrowNotes24** (Story: Mud, Sweat, and Beers), **LolaCullenx**_ (story: The Academy of New Beginnings), _and **Twilightladies**_ (Story: Cocktails at Eclipse). _They each had a hand in shining light on areas that could be expanded to enhance the story.** TwidictedByrd** and **SparrowNotes** especially helped with cleaning up the grammar and letting me send them endless copies to look at. Thank you also goes out to IllicitWritter for the banner she painstakingly created. It's beautiful, and I'm in love with it. _THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Ladies :D_

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**The Celestial Way**

**Prologue**

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**Somewhere outside Salt Lake City Utah**

**September 13th, 1989**

**Renee**

My mind raced as the road before me went on for miles. My destination was unclear: I had nowhere to go, no place to sleep, I was exhausted and in pain. Despite my attempts to keep them open, my lids dropped, a blaring horn from a passing car jolting me awake.

My heart hammered beneath my skin, and I lightly slapped my face a few times. I had to stay awake and drive, to put as much distance between me and Nevada as possible.

I couldn't let him find me again. If he got his calloused grip on me one more time, he'd surely ring my neck and squeeze until the light in my eyes dimmed, killing me and his unwanted, unborn daughter.

My hand immediately sought my bump and caressed it lightly.

I had to survive … for her … for Bella.

A bright orange light flashed in the dashboard, alerting me that before long, the beat up Ford Chevy I fled in would run out of gas.

I had already stopped when I felt it was safe enough and used the last $50 I had stuffed into my glove compartment for emergencies, and now I was penniless.

"God, please take care of me," I prayed. I was begging for a miracle because that was all I had— faith. I was living on a prayer. Everything else had to be left behind.

There wasn't enough time, and I hadn't had the strength or piece of mind to prepare. My flight was instinctual.

Charles Swan hid behind his badge and position as police chief. No one believed that sweet, even-tempered Charlie could be an abusive drunk with a past who used his high school sweetheart as a punching bag.

We had been happy at one point. I wouldn't have married him if we weren't, however, that all changed when he enlisted into the Marine Corps shortly after we said I do.

Once Charlie was gone, it was four years with limited contact home. He hardly ever had a chance to return so we wrote often, making plans for our future for when he returned. He wanted to go into the police academy, and I wanted to open my own book store and cafe. Everything seemed perfect, until the letters stopped coming, and the calls ceased.

When he was stateside for good, it was very apparent that he'd experience something horrifyingly traumatic, though he never talked about. He put on a front that everything was okay, and we lived in our own bubble for those first few months.

Then, his rage uncoiled like a spring, taking control of his mind. At nights he'd drunkenly cry, blubbering painfully about the things he'd seen and done, but never coherent enough for me to truly understand what he'd been through. His moods were as unstable as an unpinned grenade. Everything was okay until something set him off, and he exploded.

The screams while he slept were bloodcurdling as he was forced to relive his time served in the military through nightmares. I tried so hard to be there for him, but the more concern I showed, the more he pushed me away. I begged him to seek help with the VA services offered for veterans, but he wanted nothing to do with any of it. Instead, he found solace in a bottle of Jack Daniels.

He had somehow completed the academy with everyone believing that he was mentally and emotional stable and became a cop for Reno, Nevada. With no other family to rely on, I was alone in my despair, helpless and forced to stand by as my husband became another man entirely.

His post-traumatic stress controlled every aspect of our marriage, but I couldn't leave him while he was suffering. He needed help, and I was determined to be there for him whether he wanted me to or not. That's when the beatings began.

I had loved my husband very much, but I tried to leave him after the first time he laid a hand on me. He always came after me, and it went on like that for five years until I became pregnant. It wasn't just me anymore. I had my baby to think about, and when he had come at me with his powerful, angry fists this last time, he wouldn't relent.

He had used my pregnant body as a stomping ground. When I was down, maternal instinct flared to life, and I had curled into a fetal position, using my arms and hands to protect my stomach at all costs and crying for him to stop before he hurt our child.

He had laughed and was determined to beat "the brat" out of me. "I'm going to kill it, and then you'll have nothing!" He raged as the toe of his work boot connected with my ribs repeatedly.

I had no idea why he would ever want to harm our baby, but she was all I had since the husband that had once loved and adored me was lost to me forever. This baby was my blessing and reason for living. I couldn't let him take her away from me, especially after making it to my ninth month—not unscathed, but intact.

Flashes of the incident haunted me as I drove. I was amazed I had been able to move after Charlie had finished unleashing his fury and passed out on the couch, whisky heavy on his tongue. I gathered my will and had managed to crawl toward the kitchen table to pull myself up, wincing with every debilitating breath I took. I was sure my ribs had been broken.

Careful not to twist too much, I stood on shaky legs and spotted the keys to the truck lying there on the table. I didn't think, just reacted and fled.

Now, a few miles outside Salt Lake City, Utah, my vehicle puttered to a rolling stop, drained of all its gas.

The truck was empty, and so was I.

Hysterics unleashed, and the tears wouldn't stop. I was just so worn out and terrified that Charlie was on his way to find me, and I had no way to get the Chevy going again.

"No, no, no … please!" I called out to God, freaking out.

Pulling over to the shoulder on the highway, I let my head rest against the steering wheel, defeated.

I had no money, no license, nothing. I left everything at home, a place I could never return to alive.

Unsure of my next move, I gingerly got out of the car and took a few steps before stumbling over the gravel at the edge of the road. I fell to my knees, scraping them as I went down. Pebbles lodged into the cuts, but I didn't notice. I was too busy gritting my teeth as a contraction ripped through my belly.

I cried out in blinding pain. A guttural noise left my lips. Panicked, I rocked back and forth, cradling my protruding stomach with tears trailing over my cheeks.

"Don't take my baby." My voice caught and a sob ripped from my chest as another wave of agonizing, volcanic fire erupted from my spine and spilled over my thighs.

I bent my head and screwed my eyes shut, my heavy breathing filling the silence around me.

I did everything I could, bartered my own soul so my baby would live, but when I opened my eyes to inspect the dampness between my thighs, my jeans were sodden with blood.

I was going to lose my baby forever. That was my last conscience thought before the pain grew monumentally, and I passed out, oblivious of me or my daughter's future.

.

.

Beep … beep … beep …

The steady staccato of the heart monitor woke me up. My eyelashes fluttered and confusion clouded my thoughts.

"My baby?" I said as my voice cracked, my throat and lips parched, I felt around aimlessly, searching fruitlessly, because when my hand met my tummy, it was flat.

"No!" I gasped and struggled against the wires and IV attached to my body.

"Ma'am, don't move. You're in the hospital. Please, settle down, honey. You're going to be just fine." The nurse at my bedside attempted to soothe my frantic nerves and held my hand in her gentle grasp.

"What … what happened to my baby?"

Her deep, brown eyes melted into pools of sympathy, and she patted my hand. "I'm going to get the doctor, hon. He can explain what happened."

My heart broke.

He did it. Charlie killed my baby, and now I had nothing, just like he promised.

My tears continued as I mourned the one thing that meant more than my own life. In my horrendous distress, I didn't hear the doctor walk in.

"Miss? I think there's someone who would like to see you." His voice was deep and struck a nerve.

"Oh, God. He'll kill me."

The monitors beeped when it detected an abnormal spike of my heart rate, and the doctor studied me, looked through me, before he clarified calmly, "You're safe. I swear. No one will harm you."

He spoke with so much conviction that I nearly believed him.

"You don't know what he's like, who he knows. Please, I won't live if I go back."

A knock on the door interrupted my hysterics, and the same nurse walked back in with a bundle in her arms.

Tiny cries reached my ears, and my world halted. All other noises faded into the background as my eyes zeroed in toward those cries, and the dam holding back my tears crumbled. Relief flooded my senses, and my breath hitched when I caught sight of the pink blanket wrapped around my daughter.

The doctor grabbed the squirming baby out of the nurse's arms and brought her to me.

"You're safe. You are both safe."

I hiccupped and reached out for my Bella. My beautiful daughter in the arms of a man who made a promise that seemed to scorch my soul. His eyes pierced my own, and I sensed something between us as he drew me in with those crystal blue irises.

"Can I hold her … please?" The request was barely spoken before he gently laid my baby across my chest. She wiggled and nudged my breasts seeking food and comfort.

My aching arms wrapped around her, scared to squeeze too tight, but never wanting to let go.

"I believe she's hungry. Would you like to try and breast feed her?"

I nodded and blushed under his attentive gaze, but I wasn't going to deny my child her food. The nurse assisted me with my hospital gown and it fell open, baring my breasts.

The doctor oversaw and gave instructions on how to administer the best results, but Bella knew what to do.

Her bright, rosebud lips puckered as she rooted against the nipple. She tested a sample of leaking milk before latching on completely, sucking contentedly and nestling close to my heart.

I was entranced by her and couldn't tear my eyes away. I was captivated by the miracle in my arms. "How old is she?" I whispered, unwilling to disturb the only peace I had found since I ran away.

"Officially, this little one was born at 4:28 yesterday morning, September 13th. You've only been out a day."

"Friday the 13th," I mused aloud.

He chuckled and excused himself. "I will come back once you're finished. We can discuss your condition and release then."

I didn't respond, only nodded as I ran a finger over her supple cheek. She chomped down on the sensitive bud, and I yelped in surprised.

The nurse fussed over us, teasing that my child would gum my nipples raw and gave me tips on how to prevent them from becoming too chapped.

I let her prattle on, not hearing everything. Soon, the peaceful suction noises and machine beeps lulled me back to a dreamless sleep.

.

.

The next time I woke up, I was in agonizing pain. My baby was gone as well.

I called for the nurse but the doctor came instead. He took note of the perspiration that speckled my forehead and the twist of discomfort on my face.

"Where do you hurt?"

"Everywhere," I moaned.

He checked my vitals and held my face in his cool hands, inspecting the smattering of bruises that were sure to be there.

"I can only give you a mild pain reducer because you are breast feeding. You may still feel some discomfort. I'm sorry."

"At least I'm alive."

A flash of something dark passed through his crystal depths, and it reminded me of the calm before the storm when Charlie would attack me.

I flinched, and he released me easily.

"You're ribs were broken in two different places, and there are multiple hematomas all over your body. When I found you on the side of the road, you were unconscious and at the beginning stages of labor."

"I thought I had miscarried when I came to the first time," I whispered, still in awe that I delivered a healthy baby. "She's alright, isn't she?"

His eyes softened remarkably. "She's a fighter. The placenta had detached, and it was touch and go for a while there, but everything turned out alright. She was seven pounds three ounces and as long as my forearm."

"Where is she now?"

"Esme, the nurse from earlier, took her to the nursery so you could get some much needed rest. I'll page her to bring her back, and you can fill out the birth certificate and social security information."

"When will we be released?"

"In a day or two, but try not to worry about it for now. Just focus on getting better. I do have to file a police report, and an officer will stop by to take a statement about the abuse you've suffered."

"No! That can't happen. Do _not_ call the police."

"I have to if there is evidence of domestic abuse."

"Don't you see … he'll find me!" I had to make him understand.

"The police will keep you safe, Ma'am."

"He is the police!" I screamed, desperate for him to see it from my perspective. That he'd be signing my death certificate if a buddy from the force found out. "This isn't the first time I've run away. He always finds me. Please help me. Please, don't call the cops."

My entire body was shaking. Tremors of fear overwhelmed me.

Going above and beyond his duties as my doctor, he wrapped me in a hug, mindful of my injuries. He offered me comfort that I been deprived of for so long, and I fell willingly into his arms and cried.

"I understand. Shhhhh … don't worry. We'll figure something out. I promised you earlier that you were safe, and you will be. I'll protect you."

"How?" I sniffled into his lab coat.

"I admitted you under the name Jane Doe. You are anonymous here. I'll keep the bruising out of my report."

"Will you be breaking the law?"

He chuckled. "It wouldn't be the first time."

I decided not to press him for answers because he was the savior I had asked God for. Something about this man made me feel protected, and I was compelled to trust him.

I had no one else and had to have faith that everything would work out according to God's will.

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_AN: I wanted to save my _**STORY WARNING** _for the end. The focus of this story will be Edward and Bella. This was just the beginning. Next we will fast forward 17 years. Now for the warning, this story is about a polygamous family. Things like religion and rebellion are ahead, as well as perceived incestuous themes. I don't say that to scare you. There's a reason I saved this for the end of this chapter. Now with that being said... you can guess where I'm possibly going with this... just saying. I hope you stick around and leave me a review? I have a facebook group for this story. Link on my profile. I'll have pics, teases and more on there. _


	2. Chapter One

_Thank you goes out to my beta **Twidictedbyrd**. **SparrowNotes24**, **Twilightladies**, and **LolaCullenx**for pre-reading! - I love you all! *Mwah* _

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**Chapter One**

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**Park City, Utah**

**December 2006**

Park City, Utah was just outside of Salt Lake City, and many knew it as an upscale gateway. It was a tourist town with nearly 600,000 visitors each year. More people came through to experience the luxury boutiques, clubs, restaurants, and ski resorts, than those who chose to call it home. It was the perfect place to blend in, and it provided a shield of anonymity that allowed a certain family the privilege of living a lifestyle that was grand and extravagant, and illegal, without calling attention to themselves.

The Cullen estate was completely surrounded by thick, Blue Atlas Cedars and out of sight from the public eye. Tourists who passed by remarked on the beauty of the indigenous trees and went on their way, none the wiser that beyond those gates lay a luxurious home that housed a polygamous family.

The night was young, and snow began to fall as the temperature dropped. Bella stood in the room she shared with her little sister, Alice, looking out her window admiring the beauty of God's wonderments.

She puffed her hot breath against the window pane and drew a doodle in the frost before rubbing it away and blowing again. This time, her fingers traced Bella + E-

"I'm bored. Can we go play in the snow?" Alice flew into the room and plopped down on to her bed.

Frightened by her sister's sudden appearance, Bella quickly scrubbed the message away. Her heart pounded against her ribs with such force she wondered if it would jump out of her chest. She had been lost in thoughts of sinful desires that could ruin her if anyone found out, and there she had been writing her own death wish on the window without a care.

She had been stupid, too relaxed and let her guard down. She had to be vigilant. Her family practiced many things that seemed immoral to outsiders, the _Gentiles_, as the Volturi referred to them as. The priesthood council led their flock with inspiration and revelations from the almighty God, but her attraction was forbidden— even by their laws.

A law that if broken would mean exile.

_A Lost Girl._

It was a term that sent a spike of fear down her spine. She shuddered and squeezed her eyes shut.

Anyone brought before the council accused of rebellion, challenging the beliefs of the community, or acts of disobedience would be cast out and sent away from everything they knew. They would be penniless and forced to never see any of their families again.

Bella took deep breaths in order to calm down. That wouldn't happen to her. She'd see to it. Her attraction was dangerous and had the ability to ruin everything. She'd fix it. Make it go away. She could control her heart. It didn't control her.

"You scared me." Bella placed a hand to her chest to steady the hammering beneath her fingertips.

"Sorry, sister," Alice apologized. She jumped off the bed and walked toward the window. Bella made room for her, and they both smudged their face against the glass. "I hate being cooped up."

"You know Father won't allow us outside without one of the boys."

She sighed and moaned, "I know. But maybe if you went, Edward would come out too. He'll do anything for you."

Bella's heart was just beginning to settle, but it skipped a beat at the mention of his name. She had been avoiding him lately, trying to never be alone with him which was easy among the family of eleven.

It was just too hard, and it made her heart ache for things that weren't allowed. Things that were wrong in the eyes of God.

She felt sick for being in love with her half-brother. Distance hurt like the burning, fiery depths of hell, because they had been very close their whole lives, but it was necessary if she had any hope of staying with her family.

It was time to speak with Carlisle, her father, about the decision she must make. For now, she would forget her problems and pacify her sister, especially since they had been stuck in the house lately because of the weather. Alice was a great joy in Bella's bleak existence, and she'd give her the opportunity to enjoy what little childhood she had left.

"Okay, I'll go ask him. Dress warmly."

Alice's eyes sparkled with glee, and she hugged her sister fiercely. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I was ten seconds away from dying of boredom. You're the best big sister!" She ran to her closet on the other side of the room near her bed and ripped her wool jacket off the hanger, and found her scarf, mittens and snow boots.

Bella dressed similarly, and when they were ready they walked together and split ways at the stairs.

"Why don't you ask Aunt Esme to make some hot chocolate to take with us?" she asked.

"Okay!" Alice bounded down the steps, and Bella waited until she was out of sight before making her way toward the other side of the house on the second floor.

Each step down the hall made her heart beat race with anxiety. She passed her sisters', Kate and Irina's, room. They didn't typically socialize outside of their mother's children and regarded the rest of the family with cool disinterest.

Irina had been married once, but her husband Laurent passed away unexpectedly. Kate went to the council this past week, and was matched to a kind man, one with whom had Carlisle's respect. She was twenty-two, and that was highly pushing it for the priesthood who generally liked the women in their community to be wed much sooner.

The room across the hall belonged to Garrett and Emmett. They took after their father's jovial personality and delighted to try and one up each other often in competitions. They were young and immature, both nineteen, but they were well-grounded in their faith and anticipated what was in store for them once they turned twenty-one when it was acceptable for a man to take a first wife.

Renee, who was unable to have any more children after a complicated delivery, only had Bella, and Alice was Esme's only girl out of three children. So as the youngest of the brood, they shared a room farthest from Bella's temptation.

Edward was the only child to have a room to himself tucked in the back of the house, away from the others. It was a decision made by their father. When the other children complained, they were silenced. Carlisle revealed that he had a revelation on the matter, and that it was ordained by God. No one questioned him further.

Reaching Edward's door, Bella mustered her strength to face him and knocked.

She would suffer silently in the presence of her brother, as was the norm recently, because she also desperately wanted to see him. He seemed to be going through his own struggles, and it greatly saddened her that they couldn't be open with each other like they used to.

They had both changed, and it scared her as to what it meant.

Edward seemed angrier with life, angry at God. She had no idea what motivated him any longer. He didn't play his piano anymore, and he was unusually quiet during family prayer meetings, no longer did he speak with conviction on his beliefs and revelations from the Almighty, and it worried her.

The more his passion for their religion faded, the harder she clung to hers. She feared the Volturi would call upon her brother, and prayed their father would be able to get through to him before that happened.

Living outside Salt Lake City, and away from the priesthood council, meant they were out of sight. And though never out of mind, the Volturi tended to leave the Cullens to their own devices as long as they continued to tithe accordingly and attended council meetings.

However, Edward was at an age where they'd soon pressure him on taking his first wife, and that pained Bella.

She never wanted to be parted from her brother. The reality of him in the arms of other women drove her crazy, but it was an inevitable aspect of their lifestyle. She had equal trouble imagining another man making love to her or giving her children, but it was her fate. She was destined to be one of many wives to her future husband.

A man whom the Volturi would chose when she went to them.

Bella still had time to decide when she was ready for that inevitability, but the longer she waited to inform Carlisle of her choice to marry, the more her desires for Edward gripped her heart.

She did not dare confess her sins of her love, and guilt ate away at her. She would not be admitted into the exulted and Celestial heaven unless she did, but that was her burden to bear. Perhaps, once she was married and living with her new family, she'd be able to open up and relinquish those sins and make a full confession.

Edward answered his door after few minutes of shuffling things under his mattress. When he saw his sister there waiting for him, he closed his eyes.

Every time he saw her, her beauty took his breath away. He noticed her hair was braided and caught underneath the jacket she wore, and her long, flowing skirt brushed the floor with boots peaking underneath as she shifted her feet.

She seemed nervous. "Alice and I want to go outside to play in the snow. Would you go with us?"

He hesitated, a pained look marring his handsome features. Bella studied the faint growth of a beard that dusted his strong jaw. Arousal bubbled in the depths of her belly, and she tried to squash those sinful urges.

Sex before marriage was forbidden. Marriage to her brother was never going to happen. Coming to his door alone was a bad idea.

He leaned against the door frame, gripping it with his hand tightly. He was fighting something, but what?

Silence hung between them, and neither dared to break it. Each scared of their own demons they fought against.

Emmett saw them as he was leaving his room and walked up. He took in the agonized expression on their faces. "Something wrong here?"

Edward was the first to recover. He pulled his lips in a straight line, and all traces of emotion vanished. "No, Bella was just trying to get me to take her and Alice outside. You game?" He offered, his voice a façade to the turmoil he felt inside.

"No, Garrett and I are arm wrestling in the living room. Finally settle who's the strongest. Mom is making popcorn and she, Renee and the girls are going to watch."

"I thought you proved that last weekend with the wood chopping tournament?"

Emmett scratched that back of his neck and winced. That wasn't a loss he liked to remember. "Garrett got lucky. He caught me on an off day."

"There's no such thing as luck," Edward shot back.

Emmett grinned and wrapped his arm around his short sister. Bella barely came up to his shoulders. "That's right, I'm going to prove once and for all who it the champion really is." He patted his sister on the head and left the two alone once again.

Bella found her voice, "So … outside? Alice is getting hot chocolate ready." She kept her eyes downcast and pulled her lip between her teeth.

Edward bit back the groan that fought its way past his own lips. His tone was low and husky. "Sure, I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Okay." Bella lifted her gaze and rested it on his face once again when she had her hormones were under control. Being interrupted by Emmett had helped.

Edward seemed worn out and tired, and she wanted to take away the dark circle under his eyes.

He looked ragged and unkempt with his shirt tail half untucked from his pants. His hair was disheveled as if he'd been running his fingers through it over and over again. A habit he took to when he was agitated and bothered.

"What's troubling you, Edward?" He was her guiding light throughout her life, and the hallow ghost of a man that stood before her was only the shell of who her brother had been.

What was eating him away?

He didn't speak, only closed his eyes again and moved to shut his door, recoiling from the hand that Bella wasn't even aware she reached out toward him. "You don't want to know. I'm going to get dressed, give me a few minutes."

With that, the door closed, and Bella was left to brood over the fact that he couldn't speak to her, but she understood slightly. There was a secret she kept from him as well that he wouldn't want to know either.

Some people kept secrets to protect the ones they loved. Was Edward's secret like that?

These questions kept her company as she made her way downstairs and into the kitchen where she found Alice and Esme filling a bowl full of fluffy popcorn, and beside it were three thermoses of the hot chocolate she'd requested.

Bella picked one up and blew the steam away before taking a cautious sip. Dark Godiva chocolate melted to perfection and mixed with traces of vanilla extract and marshmallows. It was a special treat Esme made for the family during the colder winter months.

Esme wiped her hands on the frilly, lilac apron she had wrapped around her waist, and walked to the pantry to put away ingredients. She saw Bella enter and greeted her with a loving smile. "Alice has been very anxious to play in the snow. Thank you for taking her out, darling."

"It's no problem. Edward will be going also to keep an eye on us." Carlisle instilled in his children that the girls were not allowed outside alone at night, and only during the day if they were within sight of the windows. An older brother had to be present otherwise.

Esme's smile fell at the mention of her troubled son. She, like everyone else, noticed the change in him. "I'm glad to see that he's willing to indulge his sister's whims."

Alice chirped in, "Yes, he is a good brother. " She turned from her spot on a stool at the bar and asked, "Want to have a snowball fight?" She grinned mischievously and added, "We could team up against him."

Bella rolled her eyes. Alice could be as competitive as her brothers in the living room duking it out on the coffee table.

Before she could respond, Edward walked in bundled in his winter ware. Alice jumped up from the stool and flew into her brother's arms. "Thank you for coming, Edward."

"You're welcome." He refused to glance Bella's way and extracted himself from Alice's grasp. He headed into the mud room off the kitchen, not even grabbing his thermos.

Esme gave Bella a look that spoke volumes of the grief she felt for not being able to reach him. Bella sighed and picked up his hot chocolate. "Come on Alice. I think a snow ball fight is an excellent idea."

.

.

Edward was already outside on the back patio, sitting on one of the chairs out there. He played with a lighter, flicking it on and off.

The girls walked up to him and deposited their thermoses and left without a word as they began to play tag. Alice was chasing Bella, their movements hindered by the few feet of snow. They trudged through it with light hearts.

Bella tried to stay out of her sister's grasp, but she saw the flicker of flame from the lighter in her peripheral and tripped.

Alice caught her. "You're it!"

Bella had other ideas. She was already out of breath from the exertion of running. "We'll see." She wrapped her arms around Alice's legs and pulled her down. The young one screeched and landed beside her with a plop.

"That's cheating!"

Bella stuck her tongue out. "We need to plan our attack. This way we can make snow angels and talk without arousing his suspicion." She spoke softly so Edward wouldn't overhear them.

"Oh! Alright."

They laid out beside each other with enough room in between, and they spread their arms and legs out in the freezing, cold, wet snow. They brought their limbs in, innocently performing the repetition to etch their angel in the malleable, white blanket beneath them. Snowflakes still fell from the sky and covered them, tickling their noses.

They were giggling, and the purity of the moment had Edward entranced. Bella in the snow, her dark hair unraveling from the strict braid it had been in and contrasting against the alabaster of her rosy skin, stung him.

She was the angel in his life. His best friend whom he once shared everything with. They had once been allies but now were estranged because he couldn't keep his shit together. Anytime he was around her, he felt physical pain from resisting the love he had for her.

The ache was too much for him, and it was easier to stay away. The lesser of two evils. Because the feeling, passion, arousal he felt in her midst was definitely driven from something evil. How could he, a man who once had unshakeable faith in his religion and morals, do something as stupid and careless as falling in love with the one woman who was forbidden to him?

His sweet angel had finally gathered the courage to ask him what was wrong, and he cut her off, blunt and cruel in his response because he couldn't go there. He couldn't spill his guts to her. Not on this.

So he suffered alone with his thoughts, and he took up smoking. Another sin.

Edward lifted the cigarette to his lips and lit up, mindful of how close by his sisters were. He took the opportunity, when they were caught up enjoying what innocence they could, to take a drag and inhaled the nicotine, calming the monster he felt clawing underneath his skin.

This was a newly developed sin he'd taken on. A friend from work took him out on a smoke break and offered him one. He knew he should have said no, but he was crumbling on the inside and needed a vice to keep in under control.

No one knew about it, since smoking was against the code, and he risked his sisters finding out, but he needed it so bad. Finding Bella at his door had tested his nerves strongly.

He was questioning everything, and it was because he was in love with Isabella. He felt that it was only a matter of time before he got exiled. It was a deep rooted idea that niggled in the back of his mind as he took another drag of the Nat Sherman Clove between his lips.

Edward noticed in time that his sisters were getting up, and he flicked the cigarette out. They moved with a swiftness that caught him off guard as they rushed him and pelted him with snowballs.

"Ahh, you're going to get it." Leaping from his chair, the girls ran away from each other.

He laughed and bent down to mush together two globes of ice before darting after Alice. She didn't get far, and his aim was true. She tumbled into a heap of powdered snow when the ball hit her back. Her tinkling laughter was proof enough that she was unharmed, and he spun around to go after Bella.

His primal instinct bled over conscious thought as he zeroed in on her. A lion after a lamb. She was heading toward the trees on the edge of their backyard. He sped up, putting all his efforts into catching her. He forgot about the snowball, letting it fall from his hand, and gained momentum.

Almost there.

Bella laughed joyously and rushed with all her might to stay out of his clutches, but she knew he was fast. _Really_ fast.

If she had any hope of getting away unscathed, she had to make in into the tree line. She pushed herself, loving the exhilarating thrill of the chase, but she heard him breathing heavily behind her.

He was too close. She knew if he wanted to throw a snowball at he would have already done so. What would he do once he caught her?

Edward reached out and grabbed a fistful of her coat and pulled her back. Bella gasped and was propelled backward into his chest. When she slammed against him, it was like slamming into a concrete wall. The impact knocked the breath out of her.

He didn't think, just reacted as his arms snaked around her waist and held her to him. He felt the curves of her body beneath his fingers and gripped tightly, pulling her closer. He hung his head in the crook of her neck and shoulder, and took a moment to catch his breath, nestling against the soft skin not covered by her scarf or coat.

"Got you." He panted.

Her body shivered as his warm breath passed over her skin, humming in satisfaction as he held her, and her mind shut down. Nothing but this moment existed.

The snow came down harder, and a smattering of flakes collected on their hair and clothes. Their breath was visible in the chilly air, as their chests heaved.

"Bella? Edward?" Alice's voice was coming closer as she raced to see what kept them so long.

They jumped apart as soon as the little sprite was within view. Their eyes were wide, finally realizing the position they had been in. The intimacy had been too sharp to be written off as innocent.

Edward shook his head, warring with himself over his actions. However, he couldn't regret the feel of Bella in his arms. The salvation to his damnation. For a moment, he had forgotten that it was his sister and not a woman he could to marry and make love to.

Alice's interruption felt like an icicle stabbed through his heart.

"You all ready to head in?" His voice was gruff as he attempted to reign in his shattered control.

Alice looked to Bella in curiosity, but wisely kept her mouth shut. She turned around and walked back toward the house.

Edward spared Bella a hard, feral look, darkness bleeding into his jade, green eyes. It was animalistic, and her self-preservation kicked in, and she found the will to move.

When they reached the door that opened into the mudroom, Alice stopped and hugged her siblings. "That was so much fun! I love you."

She didn't wait for a reply before opening and closing the door behind her, leaving them alone. Again.

Bella wanted to go inside. She was cold from rolling in the snow and starting to shiver. Her teeth chattered, and Edward noticed. He took a step closer to her and started to rub his hands down her arms, creating friction.

Delicious heat spread throughout her body, and it was as if a spell had been cast over them. Lost in each other's gazes, neither noticed the other leaning in. Pulling her closer, their lips brushed against each other, and that brief meeting ignited the flames that they fought so hard to extinguish. There was no fighting the roaring fire that combusted and flared brightly as tentative tongues grazed.

Bella moaned into his lips and willingly fell into his arms, unable to think of anything else except for the ache between her thighs. He had completely lost the will to fight the fever that boiled in his blood. He gave in, threw in the towel, he quit. He couldn't fight any more.

He poured himself into his first kiss and held Bella to him tightly. He never wanted to let go.

Bella was lost in the moment, but then she felt something poke against her thigh and adjusted herself. Edward groaned when she moved, unknowingly brushing her womanhood against his cock. It felt too good. He thrust into her, and she gasped and trembled in his arms as he continued to feast upon her lips.

Sparks rattled her entire being when he pushed into her. It felt glorious and teasing. Forbidden.

This wasn't right.

Bella's eyes few open, and she pushed her brother away from her.

"What are you doing?" She sounded horrified. Her large, brown eyes wide as the gravity of situation sunk in.

He regarded her helplessly. "I don't know. I don't fucking know anything anymore!" He was scared.

His outburst and expletive was unexpected, and it had Bella running inside as far away from him as possible. He didn't follow. Instead, he punched the brick wall of their home with his fist and dug in his pockets for a cigarette.

He needed one badly.

X

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_I am using my right as a writer to mix some fact with fiction. I do not intend to offend anyone but polygamy has always been something that fascinated me. I've done some research and I'm picking and choosing some elements and using my imagination for the rest. I hope you enjoy it regardless and review. Let me know what you think! I have a Facebook group for this called Confessions. Link on my profile. I post teasers and you can see pictures of the Cullen Home. _


	3. Chapter Two

Thanks to my beta **Twidictedbyrd** and my prereaders **SparrowNotes24** and **LolaCullenx. **

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**Chapter 2**

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Bella had walked on eggshells for the rest of the week, refusing to go anywhere near her brother, Edward. She couldn't do it. No matter how much she wanted to blame the kiss on him, she had to take responsibility too. She had clung to him and relished the feel of his supple lips on hers; getting lost in a kiss with the one man she was forbidden to have.

She had to stay away, because she wanted it to happen again. Desperately. She wanted it so much that she was scared it was inevitable, because despite _everything _against them, Edward kissed her back, held her close in his arms, and that terrified her.

Her mind was already made up. After Kate's wedding, she would speak to her father, Carlisle, about her decision. She had to. It was the only way to save her soul from eternal damnation, because lusting and wanting her brother was wrong … so deliciously wrong.

The wedding was underway at the family owned ski resort, Wolf Run. It was an elaborate affair; no expense was ever spared for any of Carlisle's daughters' on their special day.

The banquet hall was teeming with family friends who lived the same lifestyle as the Cullens, and the many hands helped erect the perfect backdrop to Kate's happily ever after as a second wife to a well-to-do cardiologist who worked with Esme and Carlisle at the Salt Lake City Memorial Hospital.

Felix was eighteen years Kate's senior, and no one batted an eye, because it was a match made in heaven and accepted by Aro, the head priest of the Volturi.

Aro officiated the sealing ceremony, and Kate and Felix leaned in for their first kiss. Until now, Kate's lips had not touched another. Bella's fingers flew to her own lips, ghosting lightly over the flesh, remembering that she was now tainted.

A young woman was not supposed to go kissing boys before she was married. It wasn't right. It was flirting with temptation, and it created feelings that were wrong in the eyes of God.

Just another sin to add to Bella's confession list.

The crowed eagerly followed behind the newlyweds into the reception area for dinner and dancing. Weddings were the perfect opportunity to spot potential partners since dating and courtship were not allowed.

Bella found a round table in the corner and watched as the newlyweds took to the dance floor for their first dance. She stared at the couple, her eyes unwavering from their blissful smiles. Her older sister was really in love and happy. She married the man of her dreams, and it was a match Aro approved of.

Sadness fell upon Bella's heart like a smothering cloak, and she tore her eyes away and skimmed over the room, immediately finding Edward. She was drawn to him like a powerful magnet.

He stood alone and foreboding in the opposite corner of the room shrouded in shadows. He blended in with his dark black suit as he leaned against the wall. She tried so hard not to admire the way he held his jacket over his shoulder to show off the crisp, white tuxedo shirt that accentuated his broad chest she wanted to rest her head upon.

She felt the wild brush of flames lick the apples of her cheeks and ooze warmly down her neck like thick honey as the proof of her lust spilled onto the tops of her breasts before disappearing beneath the bodice of her dress.

Edward watched as that tell-all blush consumed her body, and held her gaze before his own dark, forest green irises deepened in color. He felt himself stir below under her intense stare. One glance from Isabella set his blood on fire. It raced and boiled beneath the skin in his veins, and he had the urge to scratch himself raw to release the pressure.

He watched her lovely chest heave as her breath quickened, each intake revealing the milky slopes of the forbidden valley of her breasts. He dug his nails into a fist at his side and closed his eyes, quickly eradicating that beautiful image from his mind.

Aro was near, and he had a feeling that he would be keeping an eye on him. The head priest harbored wistful notions that the young man would one day join the council as a priest and liked to keep tabs on his prized sheep. Edward knew if there was any indication of him faltering from his Godly path, then there would be consequences. He couldn't be caught pining for his sister from across the room like some sappy, love sick puppy

He needed to cool down. The room closed in on him, the air stifling and suffocating. He broke the only contact he had with Bella in over a week. One week apart and he burned for her with a need that consumed him wholeheartedly. He had to escape. The itch beneath his veins soothed the farther away he walked from her, providing bittersweet relief.

He recognized that look she gave him. It was the same hooded, hypnotic gaze she had bestowed on him before she pressed her lips against his, blistering heat sparking, and their tongues collided as snow fell and melted from the heat they created between them.

He wanted to rip his hair out and say fuck the world. How could God give him such feelings if they were truly wrong? Or maybe that's the point. It wasn't God, but Satan himself wreaking havoc on his battered soul.

He had fought this fight for the last three years, and he was close to losing. At eighteen, Edward had been more capable of handling the illness, but as time went on, the weaker he became. One man could only take so much before succumbing to the raving madness that burned to pull him under.

Bella made him crazy.

She looked beautiful this evening. He wanted nothing more than to turn around, pull her into his arms, and bury his nose in her brunette tresses, finding a strawberry scented utopia to get lost in.

But he knew there was no way he could keep himself in check if he were to go back to his sister. He wasn't strong anymore. He hung on by a very weathered thread on the cusp of snapping and knew it would happen sooner than later. It was inevitable, and once it did snap, everything around him would crumble.

Speak of the devil, Edward bumped into Aro on his way toward the doors that lead out to the balcony overlooking the majestic mountains of Wolf Run. Cursing under his breath, he forced a mask of indifference over his features. He didn't trust this man, and had no wish to engage in small talk, but there was no running from the head priest.

"Edward, my son, how are you on this festive day?" His tone was lilting, and the smile Aro wore was tight and glowing. Behind the façade, Edward detected a hidden agenda. Something that involved _him._

"In good health." It was a general response that belied the turmoil raging inside.

"Good to hear." Aro regarded Carlisle's son who had captured his attention when he was a young boy. Such promise had radiated from Edward's pores, but now he detected an internal struggle. "As a healthy, young man already in his twenties, I wonder if you will soon be ready to take your first wife. Have you given any more thought to it?"

He prickled at the insinuation. Time was running out, and his options were limited. Marry, or be cast out. The subtle warning was understood loud and clear. Edward wanted to hit the man before him, but controlled himself. He was never one for violence.

He took a moment to compose his answer, knowing he had to tread delicately. "I pray daily on the matter."

"And …?"

"I'm not ready yet."

Aro's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"But soon." He was quick to add.

A forced, arranged marriage was the last thing Edward Cullen would ever want, and if he didn't get his act together soon and settle on a suitable woman – one within his reach - then Aro would chose for him and force him down the aisle.

The answer seemed to appease him for now, and Aro straighten his posture and made to leave. "As always, it was a pleasure. We will speak again soon."

Edward nodded with dread and took off before he could be stopped by anyone else.

Esme saw her son speaking to Aro before he darted out the doors. Her motherly intuition kicked in, and she followed him. Shivering from the nipping chill outside, she rubbed her hands down her arms that were covered by a light sweater. She found Edward off to the side, leaning against the rail looking defeated.

She approached him cautiously and laid a hand on his back, rubbing circles to ease the coiling tension she found there. "What did Aro have to say?"

Edward scoffed and regarded his mother. What she saw was a broken man, drowning with no hope of rescue. "I must choose a bride soon before he does it himself."

"You are at that age, love. Is there a special, young lady who's already caught your eye?" She prodded gently, with care knowing her son was fragile.

The eyes he shared with his mother stared back at him. He couldn't lie to her, but he couldn't tell her everything.

"Yes, but I can't have her," he spat out bitterly.

He craved a drink. He needed alcohol, and there was none at this wedding. Imbibing in spirits was not allowed, but it was a vice he partook in, along with smoking cigarettes.

The thought had him reaching for the pack in his pocket, but he stopped himself from pulling it out and instead found comfort in holding onto it.

His mother nodded her head in understanding, or so he allowed her to think. "The girl you love is already married to another." She wrapped her arms around him, aching to offer him comfort. "I'm so sorry, darling."

The flood of emotions that he had been warring with finally unleashed in the arms of his mother. Edward turned to hug her, and he buried his head in the crook of her neck, and he cried.

He cried, big, fat tears running down his face, because he was alone. So alone. No one would ever understand his plight, the aching dread and guilt that ate at him for the last three years.

How could he go on? He didn't think he could ever live through a marriage that wasn't to Bella, or watch her marry someone else. He hated himself for his incestuous desires. He knew he had to get away. He couldn't stay much longer, or his soul would really be damned.

Esme murmured soft sympathies in her grieving son's ear, praying to God that he'd find the woman he was meant to be with before time ran out. She feared she would lose him forever otherwise. She held him, unwilling to loosen her tight grip until he settled down.

Edward pulled away and wiped away the only tears he had ever shed on his situation. They stayed outside so he could collect himself, and then they returned to the party. He drew in his emotions with the ease of a hardened soldier on the battle field, his eyes devoid of any feeling.

Esme smiled when she saw her daughter Alice dancing with one of her second cousins, Jasper, and watched as Garrett spoke to a shy, young lady, trying to coax her into a dance. Emmett was already dancing with the woman who stole his heart long ago, Jasper's twin, Rosalie.

She saw Bella alone at the same table Edward left her at, and shoved him in that direction with a stern glare. "Go ask Bella to dance. She looks lonely, and I know that she'll help cheer you up. She always does."

Esme didn't notice the panic that flashed in her son's eyes as she was too busy looking for her husband in the crush of guests. She found him dancing with Renee, and a sweet smile appeared.

Renee had been a gift to their family, and she thanked God every day for that fateful evening seventeen years ago. She turned her head back to Bella, and her heart swelled with overwhelming love.

This was a lifestyle Esme thrived in, surrounded by her many children and sister wives, sharing intimate moments with her husband sprinkled in. She felt so fulfilled and whole, and she craved that Edward would have a family of his own one day and experience the same kind of joy.

She gave him one more shove before making her way to the dance floor. The current song was about to end, and she wanted to be ready to be swept off her feet by her dashing husband.

Edward wanted to leave the reception. He couldn't stomach the thought of Bella in his arms, but he knew his mom would wonder why he refused to dance with his _favorite _sister. A cold sweat clung to him, perspiring on his brow, and his stomach churned the closer he got.

Bella was unaware of her brother's whereabouts; she was too caught up in watching everyone have a good time. A wistful sigh slipped past her lips, and she hunched over and leaned onto her hand propped up on the table, stirring the straw in her pink lemonade.

"Would you dance with me?"

A chill raced down her spine and butterflies ran rampant in the pit of her stomach. His gruff, raw voice was close enough that she could feel the heat of his words on her skin. She felt her nipples draw into tight crowns. Just having him this close was unbalancing to her sensibilities.

She braced herself and met his gaze, and her breath caught. His eyes were rimmed red from earlier tears. She could faintly see the trails that traveled down his cheeks, and her heart lurched. He was hurting badly, and she wanted to cry as well. She hated herself.

Why did things have to be so hard?

"We shouldn't."

He spoke so softly that she almost didn't hear him over the music that was just starting up. It was slow and beautiful. It called for lovers to embrace and hold on to the ones they adored.

"You're right. We shouldn't, but I'm here … asking anyway."

What could Bella say to that? She wanted to. She wanted to be held in his arms and give in to his lead, losing herself in the moment. Edward held out his hand, and she took it without a second thought, no hesitation.

He pulled her from her seat, and took her to the dance floor. He paused for a moment before scooping her into his arms to lead her with his expert steps. They were swaying at a respectful distance apart. She wasn't molded to him as she wanted to be, but she knew that was impossible, especially with some many eyes on them.

They danced about the floor with ease and grace. So attuned with one another, they each anticipated the other's move with years of experience. They lost themselves to the song, Bella still on the verge of tears.

Not caring what the world had to think at the moment, she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his chest as she longed to do earlier. The feeling that overcame her was one of coming home after a long time away.

She cried silently into his shirt. Edward held her close, whispering soothing words in her ear, forsaking his heart to comfort her.

Esme watched from her husband's arms as he swayed with her and noticed the anguish that hung over her two children. That was when it clicked.

Her son was in love with Bella.

She gasped and drew Carlisle's attention. "What is it?"

"Oh! Um, nothing. I was just thinking how empty the house will feel without Kate."

His eyes softened, and he pulled his wife closer. "The others still need you. Don't worry … your nest is far from empty." His chest rumbled as he chuckled, and she forced herself to laugh along.

Esme looked away, scared that he may see the truth in her eyes, and she changed the subject to the upcoming holidays.

Renee listened to the music from her spot at the table as she finished eating the remains of her dinner. Her eyes fell onto her daughter dancing, and she saw so much of Charlie that it scared her.

Her thoughts turned down a dark road at the thought of the man she was still legally married to, and she shuddered at the violent control he had held over her. She had evaded him for seventeen years, and she prayed, for her daughter's sake, that it stayed that way.

Only she, Esme, and Carlisle knew the truth.

Carlisle had put his name on the birth certificate as the father to Isabella Marie, and three days after being released from the hospital Renee was married into polygamy. At the time, her only thoughts had been for the safety of her daughter. But over the years, she'd grown to love her new husband in the eyes of God, and she put her whole heart into his beliefs.

The sister wives were something to get used to, but Esme made the transition easier with her friendship. Camille had been bitter, believing what she had been told about Carlisle seducing Renee and getting her pregnant behind his wives' back. It took many years for Camille to let go some of the betrayal she felt at Carlisle's _indiscretion._ To this day, she was still icy toward Renee and barely tolerated her. Though, Renee took comfort that she treated Esme in the same manner.

Her husband was very devoted to each of his wives, and Renee honestly never felt the sting of jealous one would suspect with sharing.

The song ended, and Renee looked on with interest as her daughter unwrapped herself from her brother's arms. She wished she could have given Bella a full blooded sibling, but it wasn't a part of God's plan for her. She was glad that those two had always been so close growing up. It eased the pain of being barren.

As many things, the undeniable attraction between her two children went over her flighty head, but the man standing in the back was not as air headed. He saw what Renee did not.

He saw a man walking a fine line from right and wrong. Aro shook his head sadly and turned to leave.

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X

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_What are you thinking? Find the link to my **Facebook group, Confessions**, for this story. I have pictures of the Cullen home and more :) I am going to try and get chapter 3 written so I can post on Monday. Reviews give me motivation ;)_


	4. Chapter Three

I'm sorry it took forever to update. I hope you enjoy :) Thank you to SparrowNotes24 and LolaCullenx for pre-reading and Twidictedbyrd for being my beta.

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**Chapter Three**

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The last few notes of the song sounded, and Bella sniffled, wiping her tears away. "Thank you for the dance." Her voice was soft and held a longing for more.

Edward sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He glanced around and didn't spot anyone openly staring at them. Aro seemed absent from the room and other council members still there were busy talking amongst themselves.

His shoulders relaxed, and he lifted a hand to her face and brushed away the last remnants of her anguish with his thumb. The gesture was intimate. His fingers lingered, touching her in some small way, unwilling to let go of her completely.

Bella leaned into his touch and sighed in contentment. Edward knew they couldn't stay like this forever, and he moved in to kiss her lightly on the cheek, tasting the salty proof of her sorrow.

She let out a whispered mew, wishing his lips were just a few inches closer to the left, on top of hers. She craved it.

_Would it be like it was that first time, tender and sweet, or would he taste different now? _

Somehow she knew that the mystery of his delectable lips wasn't something so easily discovered. It would take years of exploring before she uncovered the mystery of his nectar. She assumed it was more addicting than drugs and more intoxicating than mead.

Her thoughts were broken when Edward stepped back, taking his touch with him, leaving her hollow and dead inside.

"Come on." Finally he spoke, and as if sensing her need, he grabbed her hand in his, leading her off the dance floor.

Just that gesture alone brought some life back into Bella.

They met up with their father and Esme, and headed to the table Renee occupied.

Renee jumped up from her chair and grabbed Bella, squeezing her in a hug. "Oh baby girl, you looked so beautiful out there. Just think, one day you'll be getting married, and we'll be dancing at your wedding."

Edward stood behind his sister, giving her room with his Aunt Renee. He heard her words, and he fisted his hands. He fucking hated weddings. Everyone was just so happy and thinking of the future, vicariously living out their dreams.

_Did Bella dream of her wedding day?_ He knew that she'd make an exquisite bride, none would compare. How unfortunate that he would not see her in all her glory, because there was no way on God's Earth that he'd go.

The day she married was the day Edward would leave this life he knew behind.

Esme knew her sisterwive's comment was killing her son, so she stepped up and put on her brightest smile, meant to distract. "The whole evening was magical," she enthused. "It's a shame there aren't enough excuses to get this one," she gestured to Carlisle, "out on the dance floor more."

"We've plenty of children to marry off. Lots of opportunities to see my moves."

The group took seats around the table and motioned to a waiter for drinks. The conversation turned to the resort, and Renee jumped at the chance to talk about her work. She managed it with Camille and went on to tell a humorous story about one of the guests staying there.

"The poor man was completely humiliated. I offered him a gift card to the gift shop for another pair, though it really was his own fault. He should have known wearing pants that tight would rip going down the slopes. All that bending…"

Spiels of laughter erupted, even Edward couldn't contain a snicker. He knew the man she spoke of. He was a regular who came to Wolf Run yearly, and his preference for leather was legendary.

Camille, Kate and Felix walked up at that moment. The wedded couple wanted to say their goodbyes before heading to California for the weekend on their honeymoon.

Hugs were exchanged, and Kate held on extra tight to her mother. "I'll see you next Sunday, mama."

Camille nodded and turned to her baby's husband. "You take care of her."

Felix, taller than his wife by a full head, towered over Kate and squeezed her hand. "With my life."

They departed, and Camille took the empty seat next to Renee. Bella could feel the frost from where she sat. Her Aunt Camille purposely turned her back toward Renee and excluded her from the conversation she struck up with Esme and Carlisle.

Renee took the jibe in stride, and spoke to Edward. "Christmas is around the corner. I'm looking forward to hearing you play all the carols on the piano. You're going to have to show me how to play Silent Night one of these days."

Edward stiffened and reached behind his head to scratch the back of his neck. He was uncomfortable discussing his music, or lack thereof in the recent months. "Sure, Aunt Renee."

Music, especially the piano, was something Edward held very close to his heart, however he'd been too conflicted to play. The last time he sat down on the bench to warm up with scales, he hesitated, and realized that he lost his drive. He just didn't have any desire to touch the baby grand he'd gotten for his sixteenth birthday.

The topic was changed, and they all chatted and drank until the wedding wound down before heading home

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Christmas was always a special time for the Cullens. Many believed that Mormons didn't celebrate the holiday, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. They may not buy into the commercialism of the day, but it was a time they recognized the birth of Jesus Christ and exchanged heartfelt gifts.

Esme spent the two weeks leading up to the day carefully observing her children's behavior. Now that she was paying attention, the signs were all there. They had been there for years, and she felt like she had let Edward and Bella down by living in denial.

They skirted around each other like two spooked colts. Esme watched as Bella's fingers trembled when she accepted the gift Edward handed to her on Christmas morning. Their fingers hardly brushed, but that was enough for her eye to catch the way the gift shook when it exchanged hands.

She noticed the way Bella's eyes widened with something like wonder before she looked down and allowed her loose hair, wavy from sleeping in a braid, to hide her face as she delicately picked at the wrapping and carefully peeled back the paper to reveal a piece of Edward's soul.

Edward bit his lip, and Esme's heart constricted a little more as they both looked on with bated breath and heard the gasp escape Bella's lips. She picked up a tattered and well used journal, stroking the cover reverently. The gift was very familiar to Esme. It was the journal she had given her son for his birthday three years ago.

How she wished things were different. _What torment and sorrow had her son penned on those pages? _Esme burned to know. She gave him the journal when he turned eighteen, thinking at the time it would be a great outlet for Edward as he grew into his maturity. _Was it then that he fell for Isabella?_

Esme quickly looked away, wondering of the significance of her son's gift, and made her way around the expansive family room, busing herself with the others. No one else had been privy to the exchange. Each engaged in opening their gifts and merriment.

"Thank you for the quilted blanket, Aunt Esme." Irina's musical lilt brought a grateful distraction, and Esme reached over to accept the hug Irina offered.

She squeezed her tightly, for she loved the girl dearly though Irina tended to shy away from family interactions. Releasing her gently, she parted with a smile, and went to find Carlisle.

Her husband was seated in his favorite large, brown leather recliner. The one she had personally picked out with him in mind to go with the décor of the room. Each wife helped decorate and furnish the area so they felt that it was theirs, but it gave Esme a tiny thrill each time Carlisle chose to sit in _her _chair.

Carlisle was occupied by his first wife, Camille. She had just greeted him with an enthusiastic kiss, and he had a loopy grin on his face when she released him.

"Merry Christmas, Darling." His deep, morning tenor rumbled with relaxation, and it excited Esme, striking a deep primal cord within her and turning her legs into jelly.

She wobbled up to him, and Camille zeroed in on the intruder. Her irises flashed her sisterwife a warning, but Carlisle welcomed his second wife with open arms, she grudgingly stepped aside so Esme could slide onto his lap.

Carlisle didn't seem to notice the silent war waging between his two wives. The cold shoulder she received was nothing new. Esme was quit used to the treatment and bore that burden with grace, but she felt overwhelmed with guilt because the betrayal Camille felt could be solved with the truth.

All this time Camille had been led to believe that Carlisle cheated on them with Renee, a _Gentile,_ and got her pregnant. She hated that Esme welcomed the harlot with open arms.

_What would Camille think if she knew she had been forced to raise a child who had not come from her husband's loins?_

Esme had to stop herself from spilling her worries to her husband. He had noticed her distraction as of late during their love making, and she hated that their time with each other was tainted.

She knew that they could never let it be known that Bella was not Carlisle's own. The Volturi would swoop down on them like vultures, demanding retribution for the lie, and like the domino effect, Renee's legal husband, Charles Swan, would somehow find out and come knocking on their door, bringing dire consequences to the entire family. Charlie could have them all locked up if he saw to it for polygamy.

Esme shivered at the thought and wrapped her arms around Carlisle's neck, looking for comfort. She kissed his cheek and nuzzled against the bristles he'd yet to shave away, stealing a few moment with her head nestled in the crook of his neck and shoulder while he held her.

Alice bounded over to her parents, bringing over the gift she'd just unwrapped. "Look what Bella got me!" She held out an hair brush with an intricate design carved into the handle.

She released a sigh and sat up, balancing herself on Carlisle's knee. "It's very elegant, sweetheart." Alice was so childlike in some ways, and other times, she amazed her mother with her wisdom beyond her years.

Renee came up and leaned over to kiss Esme on the cheek before giving Carlisle a deeper kiss. "Crazy morning, but everyone seems happy." She reached for Carlisle's hand and held onto it as she got comfortable on the arm of the recliner opposite of Esme.

Esme found it in herself to chuckle. "Holidays are always hectic in this household."

When all the presents had been opened, Carlisle called his family to gather around for an intimate religious service and prayer.

"Emmett, release your brother from that headlock and sit down, please," Carlisle chastised. Everyone settled down and found a comfortable spot on the floor in front of his feet.

Father's recliner was situated next to the brick fireplace with a festive stocking for each member of the family hanging from the nails driven into the mantle ledge. The fire was lit, and the logs burned evenly. The soothing sound of wood cracking set a relaxed and peaceful tone in the early morning as the heat chased away the cool draft.

Carlisle began their service with a prayer, and while everyone bowed their head, Bella stared off into the entrancing flames. They danced and swayed to their own hypnotizing beat. She wasn't able to focus on her father's words. All she could think about was the book that she clutched tightly to her chest, burning through her robe and night gown, into her skin.

She wanted to flee, rush upstairs, and lock herself in her own room so she could devour the words her brother wrote. She felt the CD filled with Edward's favorite composures an inadequate gift compared to the journal that most likely bared his soul.

Bella pushed back her hair behind her ear and snuck a glance of her brooding brother. He was seated farthest from her, closest to the tree that everyone helped decorate. He was watching her. She looked around openly to make sure everyone else's eyes were closed.

Satisfied, she gave into her desire to stare back. They spoke without words.

_Why did you give me your journal? Will it tell me things you can't?_

_Yes_

Carlisle's prayer came to a close, and they finally pulled away from their gaze.

"Merry Christmas! I pray for our Kate as she spends her first holiday with her new husband and family." He paused before continuing with the same sermon he delivered every Christmas day. "God took the form of man and laid with the Virgin Mary, begetting his son, Jesus, as naturally as any child is conceived…"

Carlisle spoke with authority and leadership, reminding his family of their savior's beginnings. He delighted at the way his children were enraptured with the teachings, and he smiled fondly toward each of his wives as he continued. He noticed that Edward was distracted, and his brow furrowed.

Edward knew the sermon his father spoke of almost by memory and had tuned him out in favor of thinking about the journal Bella clutched closely.

_Was he wrong in giving it to her?_ He wondered.

Once she read through it, she'd know everything. There would be no more secrets. He hoped that it would offer her some sort of closure and help her move on, but he couldn't deny how terrified he was. He only hoped she heeded his wishes and read the entire thing from cover to cover without jumping ahead to the end.

Before the close of service, Carlisle called out to his son at his right and laid a firm hand on his shoulder. "Edward, would you lead us through the closing prayer?"

The trouble man jerked under his father's touch, but he recovered quickly. "Certainly, Father." He cleared his throat and spoke strongly, belying the fact that he had not been paying attention.

He prayed with a flourish that would have made Aro proud if he had been there to witness it. Edward fought the grimace that began to form on his face and pushed the thoughts of the Volturi far back in the recesses of his mind. He finished the prayer with an "Amen."

Renee clapped her hands and praised, "Amen." She picked up a piece of discarded wrapping paper and stood. "Alright kids, take your things to your rooms while we get breakfast started."

Carlisle excused himself and headed toward his study. Camille and Renee immediately began cleaning up the mess in silence, not speaking to each other as usual, and put the living room back in order while Esme headed toward the massive kitchen to start cooking.

Emmett quickly turned the chore into a race and scooped up his bounty before taking off like a rocket toward the stairs, Garrett hot on his trail. Alice had thought ahead and stuffed her presents into the bag she brought. Irina rolled her eyes at her brothers' juvenile antics and sighed when she watched as petite Alice struggle under the weight of her bag and grudgingly helped her carry it upstairs.

Bella and Edward hung back behind their siblings quietly. Each bogged down with their gifts and thoughts. They both had so much to say, but now wasn't the time.

When they reached the top of the stairs, before they parted ways, Edward finally broke the silence. "Promise me that you'll read the pages in order. Don't skip around."

The weight of the journal felt heavy in her hands. "I promise. Thank you, Edward. It-it means so much that you trust me with it."

His eyes softened, and he gave her a nod before he turned and headed down the hallway.

Alice was already putting her things away, opening and shutting drawers, humming a Christmas tune under her breath when Bella walked in.

"Oh, Bella! I can't wait to see Jasper later on at the evening service. When we were dancing at Kate's wedding, Jasper told me he would speak to father tonight," She confided.

Bella thought on that.

Most first wives were close to their spouse's age, but as soon as she was fifteen, Alice could technically get married with Father's permission and an approval from the Utah state court.

Though she wasn't expected to marry that early, Alice was determined to be Jasper's legally wedded wife despite their five year age difference. There was no way that she would wait until she was older to marry and settle on being his second or third wife.

"Jasper says that it's going to take more than a few weeks to get our marriage approved, and he knows how much I want to get married on Valentine's Day. That's why he's going to ask for father's blessing now instead of waiting until my birthday. He's already asked the Volturi, and they gave theirs."

Bella sucked in a breath when she realized her sister's fifteenth birthday wasn't that far away. Only a little over six weeks left. "You'll be a beautiful bride," she complimented. A vision of Alice in a fine lace wedding gown walking down the aisle toward her intended came to mind, and a stab of envy hit her hard, nearly bringing her to her knees.

_Why did she have to fall for her brother? _

In their world, a second cousin was nothing. Even the law agreed. There was no hope for her situation, however. Nothing short of a miracle could fix her mess.

She thought of the journal and itched open its pages. _Would it bring her comfort? _

There wasn't time, however. They needed to get dressed and head down to the dining room for breakfast. But afterwards, Bella would find a quiet spot so she could finally read.

.

.

Breakfast was its usual, boisterous affair. When everyone decided to head into the media room afterwards and watch Christmas movies on the big screen, Bella found her chance to be alone and read in peace.

The door to her room clicked as she closed it behind her and walked over to her side table, picking up Edward's Journal and pulling her peach throw blanket off the foot of her bed. She walked to the couch in front of the large windows in her room and pulled the blinds up so natural sunlight could stream in easily.

Wrapping herself up snuggly in her throw, she settled onto the plush cushion, and leaned against the arm of the couch so that she could look up occasionally and gaze out the window.

Taking a deep breath, she cracked open the journal for the first time, and a loose sheet of folded paper fluttered onto her lap. She curiously read the date on the first page and realized that he started writing on his eighteenth birthday. Desire to continue reading further overwhelmed her, but she knew that she was meant to read the letter first.

She unfolded it and scanned the words,

_Bella, _

_Merry Christmas, beautiful girl,_

_I'm sorry that I've been so silent lately and that things between us are strained. My journal is the only way I can think of to give you the answers I know you are dying learn. I beg your forgiveness in advance. _

_Please do not skip ahead. Read an entry a day and no more than that. I trust you to honor my wish. _

_I love you_

_Edward_

She admired the way the elegant loop of the letter E connected to the rest of his signature seamlessly and ignored her racing heart. Seeing it written out, that he _loved _her, did funny things to her insides.

She wanted to frame the letter, but dashed the silly thought away. She'd have to find a special hiding place for it and the journal. Alice wasn't beyond snooping where her pert little nose didn't belong.

She knew just the spot- a loose floor board under her bed would provide safekeeping, but until then, she began the first entry Edward had written.

_June 20th, 2003_

_I turned eighteen today. My family planned a party at the resort with all of our family and friends in attendance. The Volturi was present, and Aro cornered me to ask about my plans for the future. He discussed his desires for me to become a priest of the council and urged me to begin thinking on who I'd want as my first wife. _

_He dropped names such as Victoria or Jane, two available daughters of Councilman Marcus. _

Bella cringed but kept reading.

_I blanched at the idea of being tied to one of those two. Victoria is a vicious wasp, stinging anyone with a quick, colorful cut down disguised as a nicety, and Jane is no better. _

_I assured him that I'd contemplate the matter and excused myself. I wasn't ready to be married to anyone, but the idea of having one of the Volturi as my in-laws was not in my plans, and I'd rather be exiled._

_The party went on for hours, and I found solace in spending time with Bella. She is my dearest sister, holding a special place in my heart. However, this day, even that has changed. Everything is changing. _

_Bella blushed when I teased her over something silly, and she laughed with such pure joy, that I felt my heart shifting gears. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, so I did. And in that moment, it clicked. I wanted to kiss her. _

_Scared out of my mind by the thought, I left her with some excuse and kept away for the rest of the party. I scolded myself and by the time we got back to the house, I was satisfied that the errant thought was an anomaly. _

_Here I am, at three am, putting off the real reason I write, because I'm afraid to get to the point._

_Mom gave me this journal as a present, and at the time, I had thought to use it for notes during my independent studies of our theology, but now I see that this book will be the one and only thing that I can confide to. _

_Tonight I dreamed about Bella, and we did more than kiss. I dare not write more than that. I'm ashamed to admit to even that. I feel vile and disgusted, like I actually violated my sister. God, what is wrong with me? _

Bella's face flamed at the insinuation.

_This journal's purpose is clear. This is my confessional where I can acknowledge and repent for my grievous sins. _

The entry ended, and Bella's hands shook. She flipped to the next entry and read the date at the top- It was a week later. She checked the next entry- it was a month after that.

_So he had not written frequently._ She ached to keep reading, but Bella reluctantly closed the book and slid from her spot on the couch.

Her light footsteps padded against the oak floor as she walked back toward the side of her bed. She lay on her stomach, flat against the surface as she reached under her bed to find loose floor board.

It was within easy reach and popped up when she applied pressure to one of the corners. There were already some of the items she hid there as a child, and she placed the journal and letter inside before letting the board fall back into place.

She crawled out from beneath the bed and dusted off her hands. Letting her back lean against her bed, she sat on the floor and closed her eyes to draw up one of the many dreams she'd had of her brother.

She understood how Edward must have felt after that first dream. She didn't get one until a few months after her fifteenth birthday, but when she did she was forced to rush to the bathroom after waking up to find the place between her legs moist and dripping from her release.

She threw up and cried, scared as to what the dream meant, but now she embraced those dreams. _Did he learn to embrace them as well? _

Gentle caresses and heated kisses teased the remnants of her mind as she gave into the fantasy. She trailed a hand over her breast and sighed as she pinched her nipple through the cup of her bra. A moan was ripped from her lips, and her other hand pressed intimately against her mound, pushing against the little buddle of nerves through the light fabric of her panties and skirt.

Scandalized by her actions, she dropped her hands. After reading his words, her body was so alive with desire, she wanted to scream! Counting to hundred to take her mind off it, she stifled a yawn and decided maybe a nap was in order. Her emotions were all over the place, and the morning had been trying.

.

.

Edward watched _A Christmas Story_ with the family, but declined when they decided to watch _It's A Wonderful Life_ after it was over.

He took the back stairs up to the second floor, and passed his room. With the rest of the family occupied, he detoured to the farthest room down the hall from his.

He knocked lightly on Bella's door, and when she didn't answer, he tried the handle. It turned so he let himself in to find his sister fast asleep on top of her covers, using her throw to keep her warm.

Not wanting to disturbed her, he turned to leave, but she called out to him. "Don't go."

Bella heard her door open and she felt his presence before she saw him. Glancing at the alarm clock on her night stand, she'd only slept about an hour. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and offered her brother a shy smile.

Edward regarded her closely before he took a seat on the couch. He let his legs fall to the side, spread open, and the jeans he wore stretched across an area Bella shouldn't have noticed.

Looking away, she spoke. "I read the first entry." She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and sat up, curling her legs beneath her.

Edward hung his head. "And?"

She couldn't let him think that he was alone in this. "I was fifteen when I had my first dream."

His head snapped up. "Bella…"

"I woke up and got sick. I felt so dirty for feeling so good at my brother's hands." She met his gaze and offered him a half smile. "It scared me too."

"Did you ever get the dreams to stop?" He questioned.

"No. They only got more vivid. What about you?"

"No." A few moments ticked by before Edward spoke again. "Aro will ask me if I've decided on a wife when I see him tonight at the Christmas service."

Bella responded meekly, picking at a loose thread from her blanket, "And what will you tell him?"

Edward stood up and sat next to her on the bed, pulling her into a tight embrace. She immediately held on to him, dreading his answer.

"I will tell him I've decided to marry Tanya. She's from a good family, and her father is Carlisle's best friend."

A sob ripped from Bella's chest. She couldn't help it. The dam of tears she'd been trying to keep at bay spilled down her cheeks, and he used his thumb to brush them away.

Giving into his urges one last time, he promised, Edward pulled her close and kissed her.

Their lips opened on contact, and they let their tongues speak what they couldn't say out loud. That they wished for a different outcome.

Edward eventually pulled away. "Keep reading the journal one entry at a time, and find a man who you can give your whole heart to, because you deserve to be happy, my precious Bella."

He left her after that, and behind the safety of his own closed door, he went to his stash under his mattress. He pulled out enough weed to roll a blunt and sat out on his balcony, rehashing the plans he made over and over in his head.

.

.

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**_Don't flounce yet! I'm an ExB author. I've sprinkled clues as to what's to come within this story. Feel free to ask me a question, and I'll answer without giving to many details away. _**

**_I have a new romance book review website that I've opened called Martini Times. Martinitimes . com (take the spaces out). Looking for staff members so visit and apply if you're a book worm and would like to become a staff reviewer. I've also got a facebook group for this fic (link on my profile)_**


	5. Chapter Four

_Pre-Read by** LolaCullenx** and Beta'd by **TwidictedByrd**. All mistakes are my own. If you point them out, I'll fix them :) _

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**Chapter Four**

* * *

After all her tears were spent, Bella decided to defy her brother's wishes and grabbed the journal from its hiding spot. With it in hand, she made her way into the in-suite bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She placed the journal on the garden tub's ledge and turned on the faucet, placing the plug over the drain, waiting for it to fill up. She grabbed a pink bottle from the shelf and poured it in, watching as bubbles formed when the liquid hit the water, and put it back.

Undressing, she stood in front of the mirror naked. Her long brown hair hung in slight waves that caressed and curled around her breasts. She palmed them in her hands and tested their weight, wondering if they measured up to a man's standards, Edwards standards.

She dashed the thought away with a snort and sighed, sending up a prayer to God to tell her what to do now that Edward planned on marrying Tanya.

It was her nightmare coming true.

On impulse she gritted her teeth and screwed her eyes shut, bracing against the bitter, acidic bile that rose up in her throat. When the feeling to throw up ebbed, she went back to the tub and turned off the water, dipping a toe in to test the heat. Satisfied, she climbed in and got settled, letting her head fall back against the plush headrest.

The bathroom was silent except for Bella's breathing. With her eyes closed, she took deep, calming breaths to clear her mind. Playing idly with the bubbles, she tried to forget that the journal was there, but that proved impossible. After only a minute, she grabbed the towel she kept close by and dried her hands before lunging for the book.

Edward didn't want her to read more than an entry a day. But she argued that when he got engaged the wedding would soon follow. She wouldn't get the chance to talk to him about his entries if he left to live with his new wife. She needed him here, under the same roof, close by so they could talk about it. Otherwise this thing between them would fester and things would end badly for them.

She couldn't lose her brother forever, and she felt that was exactly what would occur He said she hoped she got the answers to her questions from his journal. Well she needed the answers now.

Quickly, she flipped to the second entry and devoured the words he'd written with his elegant script.

_June 27, 2003 _

_I haven't been sleeping much. I've been scared to close my eyes and dream of Bella. I've prayed endlessly, asking God to guard my mind and protect me from these evil dreams, but still the enemy thwarts my efforts. _

_It is late now, and I must confess that I fell asleep against my attempts not to. I can't describe the dream, because I'm too ashamed of what my vivid imagination came up with. _

_I woke with a start, and this time, primed to cum, I gave into my baser needs and took hold of my flesh. I actively fantasied about my sister until I spilled my seed onto my stomach, her name on my lips. _

_I'm ashamed to admit that I enjoyed it … a lot._

A moan escaped Bella's lips and her mind raced, thrilled at the thought that he had touched himself to fantasies of her.

She knew it was wrong to feel like this. Knew it was sinful and dirty, but she wanted it badly. She wanted to experience the same things he had, and then she wanted to tell him.

Oh she was going to Hell for her wicked thoughts. She put the journal on the floor by her towel and let her hand fall between her legs. She circled her clit, pressing down on it occasionally, finding a rhythm that fit her needs. Soon her hips were gyrating against her hand, creating a whirlpool of waves that dared to spill over the edge of the tub.

She tweaked a nipple and sighed, imagining it was Edward's fingers touching her and making her feel so good. Letting her imagination run wild, she gave into her fantasies, closing her eyes and letting her senses take over.

She added a finger into her tight treasure cove and twirled it around, learning her body and what made her feel good.

"Edward," she whispered aloud, "yes…"

Bella brought her breast to her lips and leaned down to flick her tongue across the swollen nub, crying out in pleasure. Something built in the lower depths of her body but she couldn't find release. Anytime she made herself feel _too_ good, she'd back off unable to reach the peak on her own.

She grew frustrated and wanted to scream, because her body was on fire, begging for release. She wanted it, needed to experience what Edward had.

Bella opened her eyes with a huff and looked around for something, anything to help. She didn't want to put anything inside her body and accidentally break her hymen, but then her eyes fell on the faucet. She wondered … _would it work?_

Pulling the drain from the tub, she let out the water and turned on the water. Adjusting the heat, she slid her body down until her mound was lying directly under the strong, pressurized flow.

Bracing herself, she placed her hands above her head to push against the wall and put her feet on the ledge, spreading her legs open wider. Bella raised her head and used her fingers to spread her nether lips open to expose the tender red bud nestled at the crest of her womanhood. Immediately desire coiled and wound tightly inside her, leaving her breathless and panting heavily.

Wave after wave crashed over her like she'd never known. Biting down on her lip hard, she drew blood as she imagined Edward driving his thick, hard cock into her welcoming body. Never had she dared to think like this, to do something like this, but he gave her the courage to do so.

Something snapped inside, and she was falling into blinding pleasure. Silently crying out, her mouth opened, but no sound emitted as she gave into the blissful orgasm that consumed her. Shattering her from the inside out, its ripple effect raged like a tidal wave of euphoria. Exactly as Edward described it.

When she came back down to Earth, and her breathing returned to normal, she shakily stood and turned on the shower. She finished bathing and grabbed the towel from the floor, wrapping herself in the thick cotton.

She padded over to the mirror and wiped away the steam. This time, when she gazed into the glass, she saw a different person. She saw a woman glowing with satisfaction. Bella _felt_ differently too, changed as if she'd finally unlocked the carnal knowledge of the fairer sex and was granted with the gift of womanly wisdom.

Entering the bathroom, she had been a child, but she left as a woman on a mission. She had to make Edward change his mind before he spoke to Aro. There had to be another way, because she wanted him for herself desperately. He couldn't marry Tanya.

.

.

Esme knocked on the door of her husband's study before opening it and walking in. Carlisle was seated behind his clean and organized desk, looking over something on the computer.

He looked up when he heard his wife enter and offered her a welcoming smile. He stood and met her halfway, pulling her into a hug and leaning down for a deep kiss. Esme sank into his body, letting his strength hold her up, forgetting for a few moments why she was there in the first place.

They pulled away after a while of indulgence, and Carlisle asked his wife what was on her mind. She hesitated, not knowing if she was doing the right thing by betraying her son's confidence.

_Not that he actually told me, _she thought. Esme only had her mother's intuition and observations she's made as her proof.

Still the evidence was there. There was no point in denying it, and she had asked God what to do with her information. Each time she asked, she got the urge to speak with her husband. She finally took the hint. God must be telling her to confide in Carlisle.

"I'm here about Edward and Bella."

Carlisle's brows furrowed. " I've had concerns regarding Edward, but I'm surprised you mention Bella." He tugged on his wife's hand and led her to the sofa.

He pulled her into his lap, wishing to hold her close, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Our son was distraught at Kate's wedding. I found him crying on the balcony, and he confided that he was in love with a woman he couldn't have."

Carlisle thought back to Edward's behavior and wondered how he could have missed this development. He was usually very observant, and not much got by him. "He loves someone who is already married?"

"That's what I assumed at first as well, but darling, I think he's in love with Isabella." Her husband tensed behind her. "I've been watching them, and I feel very foolish for not realizing it sooner, but I believe she feels the same way. If you watch them together you'll see it as light as day."

"And you want to tell them the truth."

"I think it's the only way, Carlisle. This secret has gone on long enough, and it's costing us our son. I fear something is going to happen, and he'll leave. And poor Bella. Can you imagine how they must have suffered for so long, believing their love is wrong?" Tears pricked the corner of her eyes, and Esme sniffled.

"You have suffered as well, love. I'm not blind to the way Camille treats you and Renee."

"It hasn't been awful. I love our family and accept the hardships, because I know the whole truth. But I can't stand by and watch our children marry other people when their hearts belong to each other."

"I don't know if the truth would be enough, Esme."

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't it be?" She was puzzled.

"The prayer he spoke today concerned me."

"I thought his closing prayer was well done."

Carlisle shook his head. "It lacked heart. I fear he's straying from his faith."

Esme gasped. If Aro, or the other Volturi council members, even suspected as Carlisle did then Edward could be exiled.

"Oh my goodness!"

"Either way, if we told them the truth, Edward and Bella would wish to marry." He began to pace. "I can't predict how the Volturi would react. Aro is a fickle man with many whims. And Charles Swan, her father, is a man of law enforcement. Renee is still listed as a missing person. If he _ever_ got wind of the truth, our family would be exposed. Not to mention that we both forged hospital documents when Renee was admitted. We could face criminal charges!"

Carlisle pulled at his hair, hating that he the decision he had to make. "I'm afraid there are too many unknowns variables. I can't risk our family like that. Renee, you, and I agreed that this secret must be kept forever, and forever it will have to be. Our jobs and very livelihood are at stake."

Esme's heart fell. "What are we to do about Edward and Bella?"

"The only thing we can do, love. Pray. The future is in God's hands."

.

.

Edward was coming in from the balcony, spraying the can of Lysol behind him to rid the linger smell of marijuana that lightly clung to the air. He turned on his fan to circulate the spray and tucked his stash back underneath his mattress.

He flung himself onto the bed and reached over, pulling the bedside table drawer open and reaching for the eye drops that would take away the redness. He blinked away the tears, and tossed it back into the drawer. Grabbing a piece of winter mint gum, he closed it and picked up the remote lying next to his clock. He turned on his stereo, choosing some soft rock to play softly in the background.

Music drifted to his ears and he laid still on his bed with an arm flung over his eyes, letting the high from the weed take him on a soothing, floating ride. His thoughts came slowly, some not completely forming, but all centered on Bella and her confession.

She dreamed of him too.

Edward's core had been shaken with that newly coveted knowledge. When she confided in him, the game had changed. His plans had shifted. He had planned on telling Aro tonight that he wanted to marry Tanya, but now even thinking of being engaged to the flaxen-haired woman sickened him.

However, his mind raced with new plans that involved bringing Bella with him.

Would she agree to leave and build a new life together married only to each other? His heart said yes she would, but his mind argued that she wouldn't want leave her entire family for just him. Their life wouldn't be easy starting out, especially since they were siblings. It was a hurdle that they would always face.

But he knew a guy who could get papers giving them new identities. No one would _have _to know the truth. They could get married _legally_ in a small ceremony, and he would feel no guilt for the deception. Bella was branded onto his heart, and only God could have placed her there.

He was coming to terms with his love for Bella, and now that the idea was implanted, he couldn't shake it. He wanted Bella with him, to love openly and as freely as any man would love his wife.

His eyes were closed, and he didn't know if he had fallen asleep or not, but he replayed the kiss he'd given her earlier. He wanted more of her supple lips, soft and addictive, sliding between his own effortlessly like a practiced dance. He turned his head and saw Bella standing before him wearing his favorite skirt of hers and a tiny tank top that left a sliver of stomach available for his eyes to feast on.

He blinked and shook away the cobwebs to determine if she was really there. "Bella?" He sat up and leaned against the headboard.

The room bobbed like a bottle floating in the ocean briefly before stopping. With clarity, he realized she was actually there in his room. Her hair was half dry and unbound, and she was carrying the journal he'd given her.

"I read another entry." She adorably bit her lip and tucked some hair behind her ear.

Edward thought about which entry she'd read, not caring that she broke her promise. Depending on her reaction to it, it could make his plan easier.

"Refresh my memory." He spoke with seduction on his breath and held out a hand, beckoning her closer.

She took it, wondering where the brazen women who walked into his room unannounced went. Because now she was trembling.

_Had she done the right thing in coming here?_

She sat on the bed with him and gathered her courage. Getting on her knees, she crawled toward him and held her breath, not believing what she was about to do.

Quickly, like ripping a band aid off, Bella straddled his legs and pressed her bottom on to his crotch, getting comfortable. She placed her hands on his shoulders to find her balance and slowly released her breath like a deflating balloon.

Edward's hands found themselves wrapped around her hips in a vice grip, battling against his rising cock and losing.

She wiggled against the appendage, and he hissed. "You wrote about enjoying touching yourself to fantasies of me."

As soon as she mentioned it, he remembered exactly which entry she spoke of.

It'd been a week after his birthday, and he'd been plagued with non-stop dreams of her. Some she was dressed provocatively, some modest, and others she wore nothing at all, but they all left him harder than steel and aching for release. He had gone one excruciating week before he'd given in to temptation and stroked his cock to the tantalizing fantasies.

His breathing labored with the weight of Bella above him. Not because she was heavy, but because she was _there_ sitting on his dick. "Do you have a confession?" He was pretty sure she did or she wouldn't be here.

She leaned in closely, and Edward's gaze was directed to the slopes of her breasts and creamy thighs. Her skirt had ridden up dangerously high, and he wish his jeans were off so he could feel the heat between her legs.

"I never touched myself before. I always wanted to, but I felt that it was wrong. Reading your words gave me the courage."

"You touched yourself for the first time today?"

Bella nodded.

"After I left your room?"

She nodded again.

"Fuck." His heart raced as he thought that was the hottest thing ever. "Why'd you read another entry?"

"You said the journal had the answers I needed. Well after two entries, I think you're right. My answer to this, to us, is to be together. You can't marry Tanya! If you feel anything like I do, then you know that's true."

Edward cupped her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss, unable to deny himself the pleasure any longer. She smelled so sweet and fresh from her shower. "Did you touch yourself in the shower, beautiful?"

She smiled teasingly. "Yes, but I couldn't finish by myself. I had to use the faucet."

"Fuck." He had been wrong. _This_ was the hottest thing ever. His hips jerked up, grinding against her.

She moaned, her nub still extremely sensitive from the hard water pressure, but she urged him to do it again. Her lips found his, and they rocked against each other giving into their forbidden feelings.

"We have to stop." Edward halted her hips when he felt like he was about to cum in his pants.

"Why?"

"Because we have to talk, Bella, and we need clear heads to do that."

She grudgingly agreed and climbed off his lap, sitting down next to him.

"I have so much to tell you, things I'm ashamed of doing. Things you need to know so you can make an important decision," Edward said.

"I won't judge you," she promised.

He stood up and began pacing the room not knowing how to tell her the things he'd done in rebellion. "I smoked a joint a few minutes before you came in here."

She gasped, not expecting him to start off with something like that. She wasn't naïve and knew others who smoked it. It was a hot commodity in their town among the rich and privileged, so he had easy access. She had never been tempted to try it, but the confession didn't make Edward look bad in her eyes. He was her brother who was struggling with his demons. He was human and would make mistakes. Who was she to throw stones at him?

"As I said, I'm not judging you." Wincing, she added, "You haven't done any other drugs have you?"

He stopped pacing and looked her dead on. "No, I swear."

Seeing the sincerity in his green eyes, she nodded. "I believe you."

"I do smoke cigarettes and drink on occasion, though."

With a sigh, she admitted, "I'm scared, Edward."

Walking back over to her, he sat on the edge of the bed and took her satiny soft hand in his. "What are you afraid of?"

"If the Volturi knew you were doing these things, they'd throw you out!"

"Had you done what I asked and read one entry a day, by the time I was ready, you'd find out that it doesn't matter."

"Tell me what you're planning. You aren't really going to marry Tanya are you?"

He shook his head and ran his fingers over hers. "No. I am getting engaged and will prolong the wedding as long as possible so I can save money and make arrangements to start a new life."

Bella's heart broke. He was planning to leave? He didn't care that he'd never see his family again, never see her again? "You can't leave me."

"I can't marry someone I don't love! And when I marry, it will be to one woman only. I've realized that this way of life is not for me, Bella. God has a different purpose for me. I feel it in my bones, and the longer I stay and pretend the more I feel like I'm suffocating. Could you imagine sharing me with anyone if we weren't siblings and could marry?"

Without hesitation she meekly replied, "No."

The idea tore her to shreds. Despite the way she was brought up, she'd always rejected the idea of multiple marriages. No matter who she married, she was a jealous person and abhorred the idea of sharing, but she'd been resolved to do her Godly duty. Growing up she'd hoped those feelings would change the closer her time came to choose a husband, but it hadn't

She was beginning to realize that was a foolish girls hope, and now that's she's experienced a taste of womanhood, she'd gained the wisdom that lying to oneself didn't change the facts.

The only way they could _ever _be together was to leave. Bella was terrified of the notion, but she was even more scared of losing Edward. "Take me with you."

Running a hand through her drying locks, Edward kissed her again. He was relieved that she offered, because he couldn't imagine a life without her by his side. The few months that they'd danced around and distanced themselves from each other had been hell.

"I was praying you'd say that."

.

.

The choir singing on stage enthralled the congregation gathered in the sanctuary for the evening Christmas service. The Cullens sat toward the front, Edward and Bella right next to each other holding hands in the dark without reservations.

When the choir was finished, Aro spoke his sermon and finished with a prayer for the new year to come. Once the service was over, everyone moved to the banquet hall for refreshments and dancing.

As predicted, Aro cornered Edward and inquired about his decision. Bella was dancing with Emmett, but fleetingly watched the exchange from her brother's arms, peeking over his massive shoulders as he twirled her about.

The head priest's glee was apparent as he smiled wide and embraced Edward, patting him on the back with approval before shoving him toward his intended. A fake smile was plastered on his face when he approached Tanya and her family. He made a big show of asking Mr. Denali for his daughter's hand, dropping into a low bow and kissing Tanya's hand in a very gentlemanly style.

He visited with them for a few moments after the match was approved with fervent favor, and with a promise to discuss the details later on, Edward scoped the throng of people, looking for Bella.

Finding her dancing with Garrett now, he asked Tanya if she wanted to dance.

She prattled on excitedly, telling him she had always known she'd be his first wife, ever since they were children. He wanted to gouge his eyes out the entire time, but he strove to nod and make noncommittal comments where appropriate.

As soon as it was acceptable, walked them over toward his siblings and tapped his younger brother on the shoulder.

"May I cut in?"

Garrett kissed his sister on the cheek and switched partners. Edward would let Tanya spread the good news of their upcoming nuptials. She delighted in gossip and spreading it like wild fire. The entire congregation would hear the news before the end of the night.

The next song began, and Bella and Edward started to sway, enjoying the feeling of being together. It helped reaffirm their plan.

"Is everything set?" she questioned quietly.

"Yes."

.

.

Carlisle was standing with his wives and Alice as Jasper asked him for his daughter's hand in marriage. The women stood on tenterhooks, waiting for his reply. When he gave his jovial blessing, Alice shrieked and jumped into her fiancé's arms before remembering where they were. She pulled back and spoke of her desire's for a Valentine Wedding. Mr. Cullen agreed to get the ball rolling and would fill out the proper documents to receive approval from the Utah State Courts so his little girl's dream could come true.

When the women turned the conversation toward wedding dresses, Carlisle excused himself and bumped into Marcus, one of the priests in the Volturi council.

"Merry Christmas, Marcus. What an inspiring sermon Aro had delivered."

The graying, old man stood with a hunch, using a cane to aid with his limp. "Yes…" He droned on before announcing a piece of circulating gossip that had reached his ears. "I understand that your son, Edward, went to Aro and requested approval for Ms. Tanya Denali's hand. That will be a smart match. A match from God, that's for certain."

Carlisle hadn't heard this news, and fought to keep the shock off his face. "Yes, we are quite proud of his choice. Her father is my closest friend."

Marcus wondered off to get a drink, his limp more apparent with movement. Carlisle was left to ponder his son's engagement. He scanned the room and rubbed his chin in thought when he spotted his children dancing together.

Yes, he saw what Esme saw.

It was crystal clear that Edward and Bella were in love. His compassion flared, knowing he could bring them together if he allowed the truth to get out, but he stomped down that desire.

Above all else, as head of his family he had to protect them. He prayed that God's hand was on the situation and that Edward truly did find his way back to their way of life so that he may enter into the Celestial Heaven. It comforted Carlisle to think that if his son was taking that first step toward marriage with a women from their community, then maybe there was hope.

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**_Alright, let's hear it. Leave me a review with your thoughts, and I'll answer any questions you may have. Join me at the Facebook group I've created for The Celestial Way. Link is on my profile. _**


	6. Chapter Five

**SparrowNotes24, LolaCullenx, TwilightLadies - thanks for pre-reading. TwidictedBryd beta'd this chapter for me. All mistakes are mine. **

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**Chapter Five**

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The Christmas celebration ended hours earlier, and only two people were left in the church. Aro and his son were seated in matching plush club chairs in front of a roaring fire that crackled in the black-stained brick fireplace.

The head priest's office was expensively decorated with Persian rugs, a massive desk carved from a Redwood tree, lamps imported from the far reaches of the world, and a chess set made of Swarovski crystals.

Aro's dainty hand moved his crystal Bishop diagonally across the board, knocking over his son's knight and taking it. He looked up with mirth twinkling in his eyes and smiled, showing off his small, perfect, white teeth.

"Well done, father. However, I believe you have underestimated me again." James posed to move his piece and paused, fleetingly regarding the many pieces he'd managed to take from his opponent.

Aro's eyes lost their spark, and his brow furrowed. He knocked his head back, his hair taking a greasy tint in the low lighting of the fire, and cracked it to the side until it popped. A sigh hissed from his lips as his shoulders relaxed. "Don't get too cocky, Son," he warned before he leaned forward and dragged his Queen to its mark. "Checkmate."

James jaw dropped, but he recovered quickly. He tried to hide his disappointment and studied the board, wondering where he'd failed. Immediately his well-trained eye saw the mistake, and he groaned, "Another win under your belt."

Aro stood from his chair and walked over to fire, grabbing the poker and jabbing it at the wood. "Life is like chess, James. When you see a good move, look for a better one."

James pushed his chair back, standing to his full height at six foot. His agitation growing by the second, he fought the urge to shove the crystal chess set off the table, taking pleasure in watching the pieces shatter on the hard wood floors.

He'd been bested by his father again.

Aro never made things easy for him. If he wanted something, he had to earn it. Love was one of those elusive emotions he'd been denied his whole life. In his father's eyes, he hadn't earned it.

In moments like these, late at night where he mourned the death of his mother the most. His father never gave him attention, and his aunts did nothing to sooth his loss, each burdened with their own brood, paying him no mind.

James walked and stood by his father, examining his side profile, wishing he looked more like him. Perhaps then he'd have his father's love. But no, he had been damned with his mother's coloring and sharp features. Blond hair that hung past his shoulders, kept in a tidy ponytail, and stormy grey eyes that clouded when his emotions spiked.

James assumed growing up that his father kept him at arm's length because he reminded him too much of his mother. Celia had been his father's first and legal wife. He'd believed they'd truly been in love, though now older and wiser. He knew better.

Aro loved nothing but the power he wielded, and James, his first born son, had been pushed aside in favor of the Cullen boy.

Everything was always about Edward-fucking-Cullen.

James fisted his hands and contained the growl that formed in the back of his throat. "What's on your mind, Father?"

The old grandfather clock that had been flown in from Germany swung its pendulum to the beat of a few seconds before Aro spoke. "Edward has agreed to take his first wife."

James sneered, "Yes, I'd heard." He clasped his hands behind his back and turned toward his father. "It's about time. He's stalled long enough." He puffed out his chest with pride. "I was Seventeen when I took my first."

Aro ignored him. "Not two weeks ago he had claimed he wasn't ready to marry." He left out the disturbing fact that he saw Edward gazing at his sister like a love sick puppy at Felix's wedding. "This change of heart is sudden, suspicious. I smell deception in the air."

"Has God spoken to you, Father?"

Flames reflected in Aro's black irises, puzzle pieces clicking together now that the thought had taken life. He turned to his son, a Cheshire grin spreading on his face, and that twinkle was back in his eye, glinting brighter than ever. "Yes … I believe he has. We will visit the Cullens after the New Year. There, I will inform Carlisle of your intent to take his daughter Isabella as your third wife."

James immediately took to the idea, thinking of the young, sumptuous Isabella Cullen, with her luscious, bourgeoning body, and his loins flared with unchecked lust, burning to consume him. Never had he entertained the idea, but with his father's blessing, his soul began to claim her. She would be his. "Are you certain?" He couldn't keep the eagerness out of his voice.

"Of course I'm certain!" He spun the ruby ring on his right pointer finger quickly until the jewel with sharp edges faced his palm, and he raised his hand, smacking his worthless son across the face. The distinct crack resounded in the dimly lit room.

James had always been a disappointment to him, unlike the promising Edward Cullen. Aro saw something in him and knew, even if he had to beat it into him, that he'd be the next leader of their community. His own son never had the potential. "Don't think that this is for you. Having Isabella close and within my control, Edward will be more accepting of his fate."

His anger boiled, but James took the punishment as a man and contained it as he fingered the raising imprint on his stinging cheek. "Forgive me, Father. I am but your humble servant, ready to do God's bidding."

This seemed to cool Aro's ire. "Edward is planning something. I can feel it. I will not allow him to slip through my fingers."

Hesitantly, not wanting to enrage his father further, he queried, "Might I hypothesize with you?"

Aro walked over and sat down at the table with the chess pieces, setting the board up for another game. "You may speak freely without consequence while we play."

James took his seat. "What if Edward plans to leave and live among the Gentiles?"

"Of course that's what he's planning. But I'll not allow him to slip through my fingers. He's far too valuable." Aro's eyes slid to his son and James felt the cut. It dug deep and twisted in his gut.

"Will you divulge your wisdom unto me, father? If the Cullen boy is planning to flee, how does me marrying Isabella come into play?"

Aro made his first move, moving the center black-crystal pawn up one row. "Bella wouldn't dare defy her father when he instructs her to marry you, and she'll submit when she's brought before the council to rule its verdict. She'll do it to keep Edward safe and sound."

"You'd hurt Edward if she refused to marry me?" Was his father capable of such violence? He thought back to his mother's mysterious and sudden death, but the events were hazy. He'd only been a boy of four at the time, the year Edward Cullen was born. James shook his head. No that was a coincidence.

Aro plastered on a fake smile. "Of course not son. But once she's made aware of the great dangers that lurk in the outside world, she'll convince Edward that staying and taking his rightful place as my successor is the only way."

Just then, the burning wood in the fireplace cracked loudly as it groaned in the heat. James startled, and his skinned prickled, the fine hairs on his body standing on end. "When will the sealing ceremony commence?" He moved a pawn.

With a festering, wicked gleam in his eye, Aro clasped his hands and chuckled. "As soon as it can be arranged."

Bella would be Aro's ticket into finally getting his claws into Edward and making him accept his duties to the Volturi. He hadn't groomed the boy since childhood to let just walk away from it all.

Aro made his move, moving a knight. "Plan for a drive to Park City just after the New Year."

.

.

A little over a week later found the Cullens enjoying their breakfast. Carlisle was seated at the head of the table, Camille on his right since she was his first wife.

The usually frostiness that radiated from her seemed to have disappeared. Most likely due to that fact that last night had been her night with her husband. She always wore a smug grin the morning after, but usually around noon, the iciness came back.

The sister-wives split the week up, each claiming two nights alone with Carlisle and leaving their husband to his own devices on Sunday, his day of rest. That had been the agreement since Renee joined them, but Esme had a secret. More times than not, Carlisle seemed to find his way into her bed on that day too.

They shared a special bond. Working as a doctor and nurse, seeing death and pain on a daily basis, was something that only they could understand. Esme's unwavering compassion kept Carlisle humble, and made him a better man.

This morning, Alice yammered on in-between bites of scrambled eggs, gushing over how perfect her ring was.

The Whitlock family had spent New Year's Eve with the Cullens. They had gathered outside in the backyard, lights hanging in the trees, a bonfire burning in the open pit set the mood. When midnight struck, Garrett and Emmett set off fireworks, and Jasper had dropped down on one knee in front of everyone, asking Alice to marry him officially.

Bella bit back the disappointment, knowing her family would never get to be a part of her engagement to Edward. She wouldn't get to show off her ring and talk about wedding dresses or the honeymoon with her mothers.

The idea of never seeing her family again when they left crushed her heart and left her weak. Forever was a long time. Too long. An intense need to hug her mother and never let go overcame her.

A light kick and then brush against her bare foot made her look up from her plate. Edward sat across from her, gulping down his milk, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down lazily as he swallowed. Bella's mouth ran dry, melting at the sight.

Edward brushed his socked foot and started to play with hers, running his big toe up and down the sole of her foot, tickling her lightly. She fought the giggle that tried to get out, not wishing to draw attention to her.

A knock sounded on the door, and the talking died down. Edward dropped his foot, leaving hers a bit chilled now that his warmth was gone.

Renee asked Carlisle, "Who could that be?" They weren't expecting anyone, and especially not this early. Carlisle and Esme had to leave for the hospital by seven, so everyone always got up extra early to eat together as a family.

"I'll be right back." Carlisle wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin and stood, straightening his tie as he went to see who it was.

Through the frosted glass, he could make out two people on the doorstep. He unlocked the door and opened it to find Aro and his only son, James.

"Good morning, Aro. What a surprise. My family and I were just finishing with breakfast. Would you care to join us?" Carlisle eyed James with distrust. Aro didn't usually bring him when he dropped in on them.

Aro stepped through the threshold and grabbed his arm. "No thank you. I come with a revelation. James wanted to visit with your boys while we go into your study to discuss it."

"Certainly." Warily, Carlisle directed James toward the dining room "It's just through there." The men disappeared down the hall and went into the study, locking the door behind them.

James' heavy footsteps on the hard wood floor announced his arrival when he entered the dining room. Everyone paused.

"Good morning, my father stopped by to discuss something with Carlisle. They're in his study now." Without waiting for an offer to sit, he sat down in the empty chair next to Bella instead of taking Carlisle's empty chair.

Edward's piercing green eyes spit fire his way across the table when he saw her stiffen. James purposefully brushed against her as he slid in eyeing the nightgown she wore under her robe.

The tension in room was thick as butter and could be cut with a knife.

"It's good to see you, James," Camille greeted. She had always liked him, and thought he'd be the perfect husband for Irina to marry once she moved on from her deceased husband, Laurent.

Irina knew what her mother expected, and obediently bat her eyelashes at the newcomer. "Hello James."

Irina once caught his eye. She was pretty in her own right, but paled in compassion to Isabella.

"You're looking lovely as always Irina," James said politely and turned to Bella. His gray irises clouded when he took an impolite amount of time admiring at her. "You get more beautiful every time I see you, Isabella."

Camille scoffed at the exchange, her ire building. James blatantly ignored her daughter for that brat, flat out calling her more beautiful to Irina's face. How dare he embarrass her like that? In her own home? Of course how could she fault the man when Isabella dressed so provocatively at the breakfast table? Her nightgown was little more than a teddy.

If looks could strike a person down, Bella would be dead. She looked down at the gown Grandma Cullen had sent to her for Christmas and didn't see anything wrong with it. Though James' leer did make her feel dirty. She pulled the tie on her robe tighter, closing the gap.

"Edward, I believe congratulations are in order." James turned toward the youngest and smiled at Alice, "You, too, I hear."

Esme stepped in, not liking how James' predatory glare brushed over her daughters. She had never felt easy around the man.

"Yes. God has been smiling down on our family. Alice's wedding will be postponed until Valentine's Day to give the courts time to process the necessary paperwork."

"And what about you, Edward?"

A storm cloud hung over Edward as he battled against the desire beat James' face in for lusting after his … he didn't know what to call Bella. They hadn't talked about it yet, but she was his and he wanted James out of his house now.

"I'd like time to properly court Tanya and have no desire to supersede Alice's big day. Perhaps sometime in March." And when Hell freezes over.

James lifted a finger to trail lightly down Bella's arm. She dropped her fork and jerked away, as if she'd been burnt by fire.

"And what about you, Isabella? Do you want to be married soon?"

She didn't like James' attention, never had the few times he dared get close to her under Edward's watchful eye.

He was waiting for her to speak, and she bought time by taking a sip from her freshly squeezed orange juice. "I'm happy they've found someone they're ready to settle down with. I have not been as fortunate."

Emmett and Garrett sensed their sister's discomfort and stood. "Why don't you come out back with us boys and have a little competition. " They didn't give him time to decline before they ushered him out to the backyard.

The women breathed easier as soon as he left and quickly finished their food and cleaned up. Bella was shaking, wondering why Aro was here speaking to Carlisle and why he had brought his son.

Camille and Irina excused themselves storming out.

"Why not go on up to your rooms and catch up on any school work you may have before break is over?" Bella, Alice, and Edward knew when they were being dismissed and dutifully left, heading up the stairs, leaving Renee and Esme alone.

They went into the kitchen and began loading the dish washer.

"I don't like this." Renee spoke first.

"Neither do I. Aro's up to something, I feel it." Esme confided.

Renee worriedly looked out the large kitchen bay window, watching their sons occupy James. "I think James intends to marry Bella."

Esme blanched, but nodded. "That much is obvious. Do you think she'll accept his hand?"

She may seem flighty and lost in own world, but Renee recognized the power Aro had over her husband. "I fear she'll have no choice."

Her sister wife felt a weight press down onto her chest. It was guilt. Esme hadn't confided in Renee about her talk with Carlisle in the study on Christmas. "Bella is that age to choose a husband. Do you know who she might have her eye on?" she fished.

The women regarded each other. Renee's eyes dropped, and Esme gasped. "How long have you known?"

A sad smile touched her lips, "I'm not as blind as I appear, dear sister. I've known for many years that Bella's in love with Edward and that he loves her too, but there is nothing to be done about it?"

A deep sigh escaped, her attention still on the boys outside. Garrett had James in a Headlock, and Emmett had his lower body pinned down to the ground. It had rained the evening before, and mud sprayed their clothing as they struggled against each other.

She looked back toward her sister wife. "I trust them both not to give into those desires while under the impression that they're related. They've been raised as siblings. I'm praying those desires will eventually subside as they grow older and realize that they could never be together. Perhaps it's already happening, Edward did agree to marry Tanya."

Esme slammed her hands on the table and shot out of her chair, an uncharacteristic anger coiling in her belly. "I don't believe true love can be prayed away." She sneered. "I feel it in my heart that he's buying time to leave. What if he wants to take Bella with him? Wouldn't it be better for them the leave knowing their love isn't wrong?"

"Aro would never let that happen. He's had his sights on Edward since he could walk. The truth will not help any of us. Edward and Bella can't marry. If Aro knew that she was not Carlisle's blood, he'd dig into my past to find some leverage to get what he wanted. Nothing good could come of it!"

Renee shivered, and reached for her sister's hand, needing her strength as a flash of her past haunted her. Visuals of endless beatings and a vengeful Charlie screaming that he'd kill Bella before ever letting her be happy filled her mind.

In that moment, hate seeped into Esme's bones. Hate for Renee, for entering their lives and putting her family in a corner, but she knew her sister was right. The Volturi's power reached far and she remembered the sudden death of her dear friend Celia. There hadn't been any proof, but she'd read the autopsy report. There were some anomalies that made her wonder if Aro hadn't had a hand in her demise.

Afraid of what might happen if anyone suspected that she suspected a homicide, Esme had never breathed a word of it. She couldn't have gone to the police anyway. It could have exposed her family if an investigation had been launched.

Jerking her hand away, she paled. "This is wrong, and I'm disgusted. Do you honestly believe that by deceiving our children, we'll enter into the exalted Celestial Heaven? We shouldn't sacrifice our children because we're scared of what the Volturi or Charles Swan might do," Esme pressed.

"Carlisle will not allow the secret to be told, and I will not defy my husband." Renee spoke with conviction and there was a hint of a question in there. "He has all of our best interests at heart. We have to believe that."

"I will not defy my husband either. But none of this is right."

For the first time in her life, Esme questioned her faith. She felt like Aro was leading them all down a self-righteous path instead of a Godly one.

She pushed passed her anger, asked God for forgiveness for hating Renee, even briefly, and recaptured her hand, asking her to pray aloud for their family.

.

.

Carlisle and Aro were seated on the couch in the study in deep discussion.

"It came to me as sudden as a burst of wind. A true sign it was God. My son will take your dear Isabella as his third wife as soon as possible."

Carlisle frowned. "Bella has not come to me saying she's ready to get married. You're not saying we force her are you?"

Aro waved away his concerns. "Of course not. James will take the time to court her beforehand to ease her into the idea, but not even Bella can deny her Lord. It is His will that she be married into my family. I've seen it in a vision."

"And what if she does deny James?"

A solemnness overcame his disposition. "God has also enlightened me to Edward's lack of ... focus."

Carlisle did not inform him that he was correct on that regard.

Aro continued, "Your son will be the next head priest. He will lead his people down the path of righteousness. God has spoken. Bella marrying my son will compel him to go through with his marriage to Ms. Denali. Had it not been for this revelation, the council would have had no choice but to exile him long ago for is rebellious nature. Don't you see this is the only way to save Edward?"

"Councilor…"

"Your children have sinned by falling in love." Aro clapped the worried father on the shoulder in a comforting gesture that belied the evilness that lurked within, and watched Carlisle for any signs that he was aware of his children's ardor.

The lack of surprise in Carlisle's eyes told him all he needed to know. "I understand that you already know." He tisked disappointedly. "Why did you not come to me, Carlisle, and disclose this information yourself," he wondered rhetorically. "But of course, you are forgiven. All I ask is that you aid in bringing God's will to fruition."

Unease pricked Carlisle's clammy skin. He knew everything came at a steep price with this man. He squeezed his eyes shut, hating that he had agreed to forsake his son to Aro in exchange for permission to move to Park City to better hide Renee and her daughter's pasts.

Aro would hear of no arguments. "You'll see. This is God's will. How else would I have known about Edward and Bella's heinous sin?"

"What if Edward and Bella leave our way?" At this moment, he felt that might be what was best for his children.

He chuckled. "There's no running from God. He'll send the hounds of Hell after them if they try. But to ensure that they don't, they will no longer be allowed to work to earn an income until they are both wedded off, and I think it's best if Edward comes with me to finish his training. Separating the two is necessary to undo the Devil's damage."

For the first time, Carlisle looked into his leader's eyes and felt despair for his failure as a father, as a husband, and as a man.

With a nod to the head priest, he kneeled before him. "I'll tell Edward tonight. He will pack, say his goodbyes, and be at your home in the morning."

Aro agreed to the terms and found his way out, dragging his son by the ear for getting so filthy. He was a man not a child to roll as he pleased in the dirt.

.

.

Alice sat on the edge of her bed, swinging her feet, dressed for the day in a rose printed skirt that reached past her feet, a plain white shirt tucked in, and a wide brown belt.

Bella dressed quickly, not caring what she grabbed from her closet. Her mind ran rampant. _What was Aro speaking to Father about? Why did he bring his son with him?_

She looked out her window and saw that her brothers were not going easy on James. It looked like he had had enough of wrestling and was trying to go back inside, but they weren't having any of it. Despite the uncertainty she felt, Bella laughed and love swelled in her heart at her brothers' reminder that they'd always have her back.

Her mind switched gears to her other brother. She needed to talk to him.

"I'll be right back." Bella told Alice, not offering any explanation of where she was going. With knowing eyes, Alice waved her off and continued to read the school book in her lap.

Bella left her room and headed towards Edward's, passing the stairs on her way. Her mother and Aunt Esme's voices drifted to her ears, and she paused. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she couldn't help herself. The women were speaking in hushed tones that seemed to be getting louder with anger.

_"Aro would never let that happen. He's had his sights on Edward since he could walk. The truth will not help any of us. Edward and Bella can't marry. If Aro knew that she was not Carlisle's blood, he'd dig into my past to find some leverage to get what he wanted. Nothing good could come of it!"_

Bella felt sick, like she was about to throw up right there on the carpet. That had been her mother's voice saying she was not her Father's daughter. Her vision tunneled as she started to hyperventilate, gasping for air. She stumbled down the hallway.

Edward. She needed to get to him now.

Bella reached his room and threw the door open. He was working of an essay his professor assigned, and jumped when the door slammed against the wall. He noticed the panic on his sister's face and started to get up.

"Bella?" He asked, worry evident in his voice. He barely had time to cross the distance to catch her before she fainted.

He slapped her face lightly. "Bella, wake up." He shook her, and then ran his fingers through her hair. "Come on, baby. Wake up."

She came too after a minute. Edward had lifted her and placed her on his bed, her head on his lap. When she gathered her baring she scrambled off the bed and pushed her hair back behind her ears. "We have to go to the hospital. Now."

Alarmed, Edward got up and held Bella at arm's length checking to see if something was wrong. "Are you okay? What hurts?" he asked in rapid fire.

"I'm fine, trust me." She pulled away and grabbed the keys to his Mercedes. "I'll explain on the way, but we need to get a DNA test now."

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	7. Chapter 6

_**Thanks to SparrowNotes24 and TwilightLadies for pre-reading. I beta'd this myself so mistakes are my own. **_

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Dear God, could it really be true?

A glimmer of hope spread its wings and took flight as Bella sat in the passenger's seat with her elbow leaning against the window. She cradled her cheek with a nervous, shaky hand as she pressed her soft skin against the glass, leaving a light smudge, watching the trees blur by while Edward sped down the highway.

The radio played softly in the background, filling the cabin of the dark blue Mercedes with a tune from an indie band she hadn't heard before. Edward had mentioned the song to her in the past and said it reminded him of her, but the name of it eluded her now.

Allowing her eyelashes to flutter and close, Bella tried to ward off the anxiety that draped over her shoulders like an old coat, heavy and warm. Her cheek felt cool against the glass of the window, but the rest of her body was flushed. Opening her eyes, she reached over to turn the air conditioner on full blast. Edward intercepted her fingers, taking hold of her hand.

He flipped her palm face up and his long, nimble fingers traced the word_ love_ on her skin, sending shivers down her spine, cooling her off and setting alight a new kind of fire in her loins. He stoked the burning embers, but never allowed the fire to consume her, just desiring to take the edge off of her running thoughts.

When the mixed CD faded into a new song, Edward let go of her free hand and turned the volume down.

"You ready to tell me why we're heading two hours out of town to take a DNA test?" Finding her hand once more, he squeezed it reassuringly.

Bella knew no one else who would have dropped everything to follow her without question or thought after she had barged into his room. An hour into the drive, and this was the first time he brought it up and only because he sensed she'd calmed down.

Lifting her head from the window, she turned toward him and curled her hand into his, holding it with both of hers as if she was a flower dying from thirst and he was her rain, holding onto him tightly and taking strength from his steadfastness. "I need to be sure if what I overheard was true."

"What did you hear?"

"Our mothers were talking in hushed tones so I could be wrong. Maybe I misheard…" She spoke more to herself than him.

"Don't keep me hanging here, angel." Edward's hand began to sweat, and he tried to untangle their fingers so he could wipe them on his jeans, but she held on and wouldn't let go.

"You and I may not be siblings. Renee was telling Esme that I'm not Carlisle's daughter, but that can't be possible. Can it?"

His heart took off, pounding in his chest desperate to get out. The road before him disappeared as his mind took him to the past three years of pain, anguish, and desperate love that had gripped his heart.

With jagged breaths he pulled off to the side of the road. His concentration was shot to hell, and he was scared he'd swerve into the next lane and kill them in a head on collision.

Slamming the breaks, they came to a stop, dust kicking in the wind behind them in an angry cloud filling his sight in the rearview mirror. He pulled his eyes away and shifted the car into park.

Passing cars flew by and seconds ticked on before either one spoke, both lost in the possibilities of 'what if.'

"Wow…" Edward broke the silence and ran a hand over his face, trying to wipe the stupor off his features. He hadn't been expecting that. But honestly why else would she want a DNA test done if not to prove something.

He should have seen this coming, but he was completely blindsided. So many thoughts whirled through their minds, but one stuck out the most. "We might not be siblings." Awed wonderment colored his tenor and a smile spread with a wattage that was blindingly beautiful.

"I'm scared," she admitted. "Aro's planning something. That much is obvious."

"And our parents are obviously keeping things from us too, but if this means we can be married legally, if you can be my wife in name _and_ in God's eyes, I'll take it."

As much as Bella wanted to embrace the thrill that consumed her that he was so obviously desperate to make her his wife, reality was crashing down on her like an addict coming down from a high. "You know it's not going to be that simple. You're engaged to Tanya, and we don't know how the council would react if they knew our family had been lying to them for years as well. It can't be pretty."

"Of course not, but we'd already decided to leave. We'll be long gone from the fallout and the council won't be able to touch us."

"I'm only seventeen, Edward. How will we be able to marry without parental consent?"

"Either our parents will understand or we'll get documents from a friend of mine making you eighteen. Don't worry about that. Leave it to me."

Edward leaned over and graced her lips with his, kissing her with tenderness before pulling away and signaling the car to reenter into oncoming traffic.

.

.

An hour later and two cities away from home, they arrived at St. Michaels Clinic without incident.

Edward cut the car off, and looked down at the hand Bella clutched tightly. She hadn't dared let go the closer they got to their destination. Gently he extracted their hands and unbuckled his seat belt. He waited for her to do the same, and when she didn't move a muscle, he sighed and reached over to unbuckle it himself before opening his door and getting out.

Walking around to her side of the car, he pulled the handle, swinging the car door open wide enough for him to squat down beside her.

Fresh, morning air played with the stray tresses of silken hair that escaped from her braid, tickling her cheek. With the door open, rays of sunshine slipped in. She brought a hand up to block the sun, but Edward still noticed light reflecting off her dark irises, making them glow the color of the whiskey he favored.

He found her exquisite, fragile, and so achingly sweet.

Since Christmas they'd been reading his journal together, and during their talks, they had repaired the damage distancing themselves had wreaked on their relationship. They had fallen even more in love than they had ever thought possible, overwhelming them both with such intensity.

"Are you going to get out anytime soon?"

"I can't move," she whispered.

"We don't have to do this today if you're not ready. We could go back and talk to Carlisle together first, see what Aro wanted."

Bella shook her head. "No…I need to know before we confront them."

"You aren't alone in this, angel. I'll be right there next to you through it all."

"I'm really anxious. Mama must have had a good reason to keep something like this from us. What if something bad happens? What if Aro learns the truth before we're ready to leave?"

Edward put his hand on her thigh and drew up the ends of her skirt to reveal her milky white flesh. When he touched her, Bella's nerves jumped alive. He created soft currents of lively electricity with each stroke, gently kneading her flesh intimately.

"I don't think it was coincidence that James and Aro came over today. We don't know the future, but I believe God had a purpose when you overhead our mothers talking."

Bella sighed and flicked her braid to the other shoulder "I have a bad feeling they'll want me to marry James. Why else would he have come over with his father? You saw how he was in the dining room, treating me like I was already his."

Edward snarled and clamped his jaw shut. "That's never going to happen. I doubt father would force you too anyway. He's never made any of us do so before."

She smiled sadly, "If Aro has had a revelation on the matter Father may not be able to refuse. What if-"

"No more 'what ifs.' We'll worry about Aro and James and everything else after we know the truth. We'll handle anything thrown at us-_together_."

Bella flew into Edward's arms, knocking him back into the door of the silver Benz beside theirs. His arms wrapped around her, and then they were locked in a heated kiss, tongues twirling together in comfort with a mission to make the other forget. And for a moment it worked. Their blood pulled lower as they teased their senses, and they both forgot about everything.

Only they existed.

When they pulled apart, Edward ran his fingers over the supple curve of her flushed cheeks. "No matter what the doctor says, brother or not, I want to marry you as soon as possible."

She leaned in and pecked his lips once more. "Me too," she replied on a sweet sigh, surrendering to his will easily.

.

.

They walked into the building, their hands clasped together. A bell tinged, announcing their entrance, and the aging nurse sitting behind the counter assessed Edward and Bella with bright blue, caring eyes framed behind wire-rimmed glasses and offered them a grandmotherly smile.

"What's the reason for your visit, dears?"

Bella shuffled her feet, her long skirt brushing against the stark white vinyl floors, her eyes cast down. She let Edward do the talking.

"My sister and I need to have blood work done to see if we're actually related."

The nurse whose tag read Stella regarded them with curiosity before handing them a clipboard. "Fill these out, and I'll call you when we're ready."

There were only a few other people sitting in the waiting area. A child played in the corner, building something with the colorful blocks, while his mother fingered through an old magazine. An old man grumbled under his breath over the state of the economy as he listened to the news anchors on the flat screen that was mounted on the wall in front of him.

Edward found two seats next to a large fish tank filled with a plethora of rainbow colored sea dwellers and sat down. He handled the paperwork while Bella picked up a _Parenthood_magazine. The mother from across the room noticed and eyed the two suspiciously.

Embarrassment flared and stained her ivory skin, and Bella quickly tossed the magazine down quickly, as if the paper burned her fingers, and opted for an outdated _US Weekly_ instead, burying her nose in a scandalous article willing her heated skin to cool.

Children were a blessing from the Lord, but there was no way she was ready just yet. But a flash of a cherub baby waddling on unsteady legs with a brimming gap-toothed smile and his father's green eyes played in her mind, and her heart lurched forward.

Edward noticed a secret smile on Bella's lips and wondered what she was thinking of. If only he knew that in that moment, his love was envisioning their future together with beautiful babies with his eyes and her dark curls. A future he would be all too willing to give her.

It wasn't long before Stella called for them and led them to an empty exam room. Its décor was simple with a large artsy painting hanging on the light green colored walls amidst the stainless steel equipment.

Bella sat on the bed, the white paper beneath her crinkling as she shifted to get comfortable, and Edward stood beside her, holding her hand.

"Roll up your sleeves, and I'll drawl blood for the DNA test. It can take three to five days before the results are in," she said while ripping open one of the sterile needles.

"Is there any way to get it back sooner?" Bella questioned, her eyes pleading with Stella hoping she would be able to fast track it somehow. She didn't know if they could wait that long.

Aro was planning something, and she still had to confront Renee and Carlisle about their possible deceit. Three to five days was a long time to wait in limbo, and that's what her life would be until she knew.

Stella tied a blue band around Bella's arm and flicked the first needle. As she drove it into her vein to draw blood, she apologized, "I'm sorry sweetness, but that's the time frame."

Bella flinched when the needle pierced her skin and leaned onto Edward's shoulder. She never did like going to the doctor. It was over quickly and then Stella moved onto Edward.

Once the samples were collected, Stella threw the used needles into the contamination container hanging by the door and peeled off her sterile gloves. "We'll call you as soon as we get the results in. We won't make you wait more than you have too."

They made their way to the counter to pay for their visit and bid their nurse goodbye. They were in and out of there within thirty minutes and had the rest of the day to themselves.

When Edward reached the car, he turned to Bella and pulled her into a hug. "Why don't we spend the day here and be a couple? It'll take our minds off the waiting."

Bella nodded, and she snuggled deeper into his chest and breathed in the relaxing scent of fresh linin and breezy air that clung to his shirt. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Today we'll be _Gentiles_. Do things that normal couples do. We could go see a movie, get some lunch, go skinny dipping..."

Bella pushed away from him and smacked his chest lightly. He gave her a wolfish grin and waggled his eyebrows. "What do you say?"

She laughed aloud, throwing her head back. "I say you're crazy, but sure... Let's go skinny dipping."

His jaw dropped. "I was only joking."

She smirked. "But I'm not. Like you said. _Gentiles_our age do this kind of stuff all the time with their boyfriends. It'll take our minds off of waiting for the results."

Edward sucked in a breath and bore a hole through her clothing with an intense stare before he replied with an edged of wistfulness. "Yeah, and put them straight in the gutter."

.

.

They drove down winding back roads with the windows down, letting the breeze run through their hair, taking in the peaceful wooded scenery, and found a nice secluded lake they had heard about when they stopped by a gas station and asked for directions.

Wilderness surrounded them and their little piece of borrowed heaven. Getting out of the car, they walked toward the water and kicked off their shoes when they reached the edge.

The blue black water lapped against the riverbank and tickled their bare toes when they inched closer. They had only taken their shoes off so far, each hesitant to remove anything else.

"It'll be easier if we just jump in, like ripping off a band aid."

"You sure about this? I don't want you to think we have to. I can wait to see your gorgeous body until we're married."

Bella answered by pulling off her blouse and tossing it off to the side. "But I can't. Your turn."

Edward groaned as if he just took a punch to the gut. Her beautiful breasts were encased in a lacy white bra that was virginal and barely a shade lighter than her own skin. He watched as she reached around behind her back and unclasped the flimsy article, allowing the straps to slide down her freckled shoulders to reveal the full globes with their cherry drop nipples that puckered against the breeze.

"Oh, God." All the blood rushed down to his cock and muddled his brain leaving him practically speechless except for a few Neanderthal grunts that slipped past his pursed lips.

She wore a teasing serene smile as she waited for him to get his eyeful. Lifting a finger, she motioned toward his own shirt. "Take it off."

He didn't wait for her to ask again. Quickly he yanked his shirt off, throwing it into a bush over his shoulder and eagerly unbuttoned his jeans, shimming out of them and tripping over himself when his foot got caught in the legs.

He steadied himself and walked up to her clad only in his boxers and pulled her tightly against him by her shapely hips. Staring straight into her eyes, he hooked his fingers into the material of her skirt and pulled it down, letting it pool around her feet.

Their breathing escalated and Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in to press butterfly kisses along the nape up to the shell of his ear. "I want you to take my panties off."

His eyes fluttered close. The warm breath against his ear was maddening and his penis was straining against the thin material of his boxers, pitching a mighty tent. He needed to get control of himself or else he'd throw her to the ground and tear the damn things off before sliding home into her tight, wet heat between her thighs.

"Shit, angel. You can't say things like that."

"Or what?"

"Or skinny dipping isn't all we'll be doing."

Bella pulled back and cocked her head to the side before backing away from him to remove her panties. Standing there in all her naked glory before the man she loved, she eyed his erection longingly and sighed. "I trust you."

She pulled the hair tie out and ran her fingers through the braid to unravel her luscious hair and then rushed past him to jump into the water with a splash, cooling her ardor.

She laid wantonly on her back and used her arms to tread water, feeling buoyant in many ways. "This water feels heavenly."

Edward stood stone still while he watched. Taking in the tuft of brown curls covering her mound, he shucked his boxers and walked calmly into the water toward her.

His fingers itched to touch her and he allowed himself to do so by cradling her body, his forearms under her knees and supporting her neck. He swung her gently in his arms before picking her up higher and tossing her a few feet away.

Bella screeched as she disappeared under the water and came back up, her hair in her eyes. She pushed it back and stood on her feet, and Edward watched as the droplets ran down her body. God, she was perfect in every way with a body that was made to make his blood boil.

She was the Eve to his Adam. Born with him in mind, to be his mate during their walk of life.

The cool water did little to temper his lust. Perhaps skinny dipping wasn't the best idea after all. All he could think of was taking and claiming her as his in mind, body, and soul, pushing past her sweet maiden head and making her cry out with a pleasure only he could give her. To get them both caught up in their love making that they forget what was waiting for them at home.

He knew these thoughts before marriage were utterly sinful, and temptation was only a few feet away, but he dove under water to clear his head.

They spent the next hour or so splashing each other and swimming, soaking up the sun. Bella hadn't felt so free before today, and she giggled when a little fish started sucking on her big toe before kicking it free and moving to another spot.

"I never want to leave." She sighed in content, but then her stomach grumbled. She sheepishly smiled.

"We'll have to leave soon if your stomach's any indication. I think there was a diner a few miles back we can grab some lunch at."

Bella and Edward walked toward their clothes and got out of the water. She spared a moment to look longingly over her shoulder, not wishing to leave this place.

They shivered when the breeze brushed over their wet skin. The time of year really hitting home. It was only January in Utah. "Damn, we didn't think this through."

Bella rung out her hair and shivered. "We'll let the sun dry us up."

They found a bright sunny patch to stand under and stood close. Edward drew her into his arms and rubbed his hands over her arms before wrapping them around and hugging her. He hung his head in the crook of her neck and sighed. His cock was right there nestled in her dewy curls.

"You smell like summer." Bella ran her fingers through his hair in a soothing manor, rocking gently against his pelvis enticingly.

"You smell like hypothermia. Let's grab our clothes and warm up in the car." Even though he was freezing, he felt his lower appendage twitch at the nearness of her _right _there.

Like a mad dash, they gathered their discarded clothing and jumped in the car, cranking the heat up to full blast. The leather seats had warmers and they turned those on as well, and in moments the shivering ceased.

"This was fun. Thank you for today."

As naked as their bodies, Bella's vulnerability was bare for Edward to see as clear as the bright sunny day they had played in.

He reached over and placed his hand behind her neck and brought their foreheads together. "You're so beautiful. I want to give you so many more days like this. I love you."

His words came out like a reverend prayer, and the emotion rolled off him in waves. It was heady and potent.

"I love you too." Her eyes closed, and she felt kisses against her eyelids.

"I've sinned many times over today, thinking about how good we'd be together. It's never been this hard for me to resist, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. You _are_ my world."

Bella felt loved. She felt cherished, and in the moment knew that she wanted to be completely his in every way that mattered. She wanted him to make love to her now. As they were before they knew the results of the DNA test, because this was who they were, and they loved each other regardless. A test wouldn't change that.

Swimming freely in the lake with him was exhilarating. The entire time her body hummed, and she felt alive. She felt like a woman when his eyes raked over her body when she had unclothed in front of him, offering up herself to his hungry stare. And she hadn't been immune to him either. When her eyes fell to his lengthy penis that stirred under her gaze, a heated rush of liquid pooled in her belly and a dampness spread over her mocha curls between her thighs.

She had rushed into the lake to distract herself from her lust, and even the freezing water did little to temper her desire for him to take her.

Here in the car, with their breaths heaving against their need and their song playing in the background, her need triplicated and couldn't be ignored or brushed off.

She ran her fingers over his straining biceps and squeezed the hardened muscles, loving his strength. Edward's kisses moved over her cheeks and down her neck. Bella's head fell back, and she moaned as he suckled her skin, creating fire with his lips, branding her.

"Make love to me, Edward. Here and now. Please."

That stunned him like a bee sting, though his breathing grew harsher. "Bella…" he growled. "Please don't say that. I barely have any control left." He started to pull away, but she held him in place. "Maybe we should get dressed now."

She looked into his eyes and pleaded with him. "My choice. I need this as badly as you do." She looked down to his lap and slowly reached out to caress his velvet steel rod that stood straight up.

"We aren't married yet, angel." He hissed as her fingers wrapped around him, and his eyes rolled back in his head."

"Before God, I claim you as my husband. This moment forth we _are_ married. All we're missing is a piece of paper that makes it legally binding, but nothing is stronger than God's will."

Hearts beat in tandem. Edward searched her eyes for any fear or hesitation, and he found blinding acceptation.

"Isabella, you are the one and only woman I will ever want. You fill my heart with such happiness and peace. I claim you as my wife, as God as my witness."

They sealed their simple vows, spoken out of love, with a searing deep kiss, and in their heart of hearts, they were married. Nobody could tell them differently.

He got out of the car and opened her door, before opening the back door and laid out his t-shirt. He let her in the backseat first. The location wasn't ideal, but they wouldn't change it for the world.

With the heater running they were warm, and Bella's intoxicating scent sent his libido into a downward spiral of desire.

Bella laid back against his shirt and opened her thighs, welcoming her _husband_ home. Edward climbed in and left the door open so they'd have a bit more room to maneuver.

He rested his lower body on top of her and held his upper body over her. "You're sure, angel?"

She blinded him with her sure smile and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down to her lips and whispered, "more than sure. After this moment, I'll be yours forever."

There in their little slice of heaven, Edward and Bella found each other when he tested her wetness and found her ready. He took the time to work her into a fevered frenzy, her cries of pleasure music to his ears and before they both exploded, he slid home, making her his in every way possible.

* * *

_Thoughts? _


End file.
